The Christensen Crew

1st grade program

2012-02-07T21:24:00.001-06:00

I'm going to mail myself to you. . .

2012-02-07T21:04:00.002-06:00

I'm going to wrap myself in paper, I'm going to dab myself with glue. Stick some stamps on top of my head, I'm going to mail myself to you!

Kiki sang songs tonight at her school program that I used to sing in elementary school. Huge blast from the past. The last song they sang was "Skimamerinkadoo" -- and every time they said "I love you" she would point directly at Kai and me. Yeah, I got teary. I bet next year at this time blatant shows of her love for us will be a thing of the past. Awww . . .

Stop in the name of love

2012-01-14T18:44:00.003-06:00

Kiki is the second from the end in the very back row-- doing awesome. :)

Oh so dizzy

2012-01-14T18:37:00.002-06:00

Prior to the beginning of this recording, Cooper turned himself in more circles than we could count . . . which he hasn't done before.

Random life . . .

2012-01-08T08:23:00.002-06:00

The Wolf Sisters Dance - Wow!

2012-01-01T19:15:00.001-06:00

Kiki's letter to Santa

2011-12-22T23:33:00.002-06:00

I love this girl. In case you have trouble, here's what it says:
"Dear Santa, I don't know if I was good or bad. If I was good, send me presents. If you think I was bad, don't send me presents. And Santa, all I want for Christmas is a Fijit Friend so if you give me a fijit friend, make sure you turn it off. Please make this a good Christmas for my family. Santa, I love you and your elves. Your friend, Kaitlynn"

I have it on good authority that she made the "nice" list and will be receiving a fijit friend. :)

Kiki Dances

2011-11-20T09:56:00.002-06:00

Low resolution just so I can post it. Sorry.

Walking in for first Just for Kix performance

2011-11-20T08:55:00.003-06:00

Trying to upload the actual dance; big issues. But trying.

Booohhhccckkkk.

2011-10-21T20:01:00.001-05:00

Heckadating

2011-10-21T19:55:00.002-05:00

Grady grooves

2011-10-21T19:48:00.001-05:00

Wow! Magic TV!

2011-10-21T19:46:00.001-05:00

Anticipation and pure joy!

2011-10-02T10:35:00.002-05:00

2011-10-02T10:05:00.001-05:00

Sooooooo sleepy

2011-10-02T08:36:00.002-05:00

Bustin' a Move at the Buddy Walk

2011-10-02T08:29:00.003-05:00

Boocckkk

2011-10-02T08:22:00.002-05:00

Projects abound

2011-09-28T19:22:00.004-05:00

sand bag removal. re-landscaping around the house. ground tilling. seed planting. broken fence removal. four new windows. new siding. jackhammer front steps due to rotting wood behind current siding. the projects just keep creating themselves.

Vacation clips

2011-09-10T21:50:00.002-05:00

I love you, you love me . . .

2011-09-10T21:42:00.003-05:00

First push up

2011-09-10T21:30:00.001-05:00

Stickiness floor to top of high chair and all over body and clothes!

Cooper loves to read

2011-09-10T21:21:00.002-05:00

Teething again, so pardon the runny nose. And look how well he handles his crazy sister!

Kiddos. Love them.

2011-09-03T07:55:00.004-05:00

Parade through Grady's Ears

2011-07-04T18:34:00.002-05:00

Endless stream of noisy vehicles and floats. Uninterested in candy. Grady could just as well do without parades.

Big Girl on Her Birthday Bike

2011-07-04T18:23:00.003-05:00

Kaitlynn and her dad just left for their first bike ride together. This is Kiki from yesterday!

Born to Ride - Sweet Success

2011-06-26T20:14:00.001-05:00

Old MacDonald - Coopersized

2011-06-26T19:50:00.001-05:00

Born to Ride - Biff 1

2011-06-05T15:53:00.003-05:00

A Kindergarten Graduate

2011-05-27T23:23:00.003-05:00

The last day of Kindergarten didn't go as we all hoped. Kai and I were going to get to eat lunch outside with Kaitlynn for a special hour-long lunch at school. Then Kaitlynn was going to have inflatables for playday. Then tonight we were going to go to the amusement park as a family to celebrate the last day of school.

What Kiki got was lunch on the floor of the gym with just me as there are people and equipment surrounding her school to build up the drainage ditch. They let us take our kids home at that point because all access to the school had been cut off because of the work, so after-school pick-up was going to be insane.

She spent the afternoon playing while we continued working on the house and then tonight it was running errands, dropping of the truck and trailer, and having two incredibly exhausted (and dirty!) parents.

I feel bad. I do plan to make it up to her.

I can't believe we have a 1st grader in our house.

Fighting a Flood

2011-05-27T22:46:00.007-05:00

There are many things I've learned since we started this flood fight at our house Tuesday morning. Here they are in no particular order:

The people of North Dakota are GOOD.

The sounds of bulldozers, helicopters, beeping, building, etc. are both reassuring AND freaky.

Trust your gut. When the math doesn't sound right from the beginning, trust your instict. (My brother called at least a 20-21 foot crest on Tuesday when they were still telling us 16 to maybe 17.)

Sandbagging is ZERO fun. Takes a LOT of them to do any good.

My family is just AMAZING. Three brothers who spent time doing calculations, lining up resources, left work and worked *almost* round the clock for a day and a half. My aunt and uncle and cousin who strategized and found resources for us like crazy, and then moved tons of heavy bags of sand for us. I think Bob might be in a dead heat with Brad Kerzman for the number of people he knows. :) When you are dealing with all the every day stuff, plus trying to deal with the immediate flood needs, it is really hard to put out the "next steps" to executing our plan. It was wonderful to have so many brains doing that for us. I hope my little family understands how important these efforts are and will do the same for others down the road.

In a serious crisis, it's crazy how so many people get it, and so many don't. Posting on facebook how you are taking a spa day rather than helping people with food, watching kids, running the errands, running and picking up kids, bagging, moving, etc. Serious disconnect. Also, conserve water does *not* mean give your lawn mower a bath and water your lawn.

This old mare just ain't what she used to be. Serious pain. It was enjoyable to commiserate with my family about how much we miss the cartilage, meniscus, ACLs and whatever else from our knees. We were totally showed up by a group of pre-teens and teens this morning bagging sand.

I am glad I am not a city or county commissioner.

Trying to handle this type of stress with grace for the sake of your kids and everyone else can be a little tough when everyone and everything is out of sorts, off schedule, and trying to navigate completely unchartered territory.

I have really regretted not purchasing the house of my dreams up north, but never more so than this week. We stayed down here for daycare, which unfortunately ended 7 months after we moved in here, and fear of never being able to finish the basement. I said I would never move again, but one more move actually would be prefered to this situation.

I have never in my life wished for something we've worked so hard to accomplish to be completely for naught. Our house should be secure, should something happen to the city dike being planned/built, to more than 21 feet. But I hope to not have to test it at all.

All the planning and building is good. But no one here is in control. If the dam breaks, if we get more melting, rain or anything else, this will be an uncontrolled event. It could happen before the planning and building to save the city are complete. God only knows.

Scary for us all. But we are blessed.

Mother's Day

2011-05-08T07:38:00.004-05:00

I have to reflect upon how far we've come on this holiday.

Cooper. He's one year old as of Wednesday. He loves to play games, he loves to smile and giggle and he has a hair trigger temper! He thinks he's hilarious, and I agree. He's adorably cute and I can already tell he'll bat his eyelashes and get whatever he wants like my baby brother did. He thinks he's much older than he is, and I see my Dad in his eyes, attitude and demeanor all the time. He still likes to snuggle and to get and give kisses. I will be so sad when he grows out of that! Kai and I say all the time that it doesn't feel real that he's ours. And his milestones just fly by with barely a notice because life is so crazy. I feel bad about that, and yet something tells me he'd rather me spend the little time I have cuddling and playing with him than documenting everything. His favorite words lately are "Uh-oh," but he says it monotone like "Uh-Uh" and it's funny.

Grady. Amazing. One year makes such a huge difference. He's trying SO hard to speak and communicate - with EVERYONE. He's social again. He's trying to like the neighbor dogs, a little. He still is very frightened of loud noises - barking dogs, Kai's air compressor, the car wash, etc - they all make him completely freak out and shake. We try not to do that, why traumatize him over and over? But since he's been at Super Kids more, the kids there are trying much harder to communicate with him and as reported by his teacher - they are understanding more of his words and signs and even explaining them to the teacher. We're trying to potty train without making it a huge deal about it. He's doing pretty well. This week he told us a bunch he had to go and was right...but he's inconsistent and if you ask him to go he'll say no and throw a fit as you hold him there. At home, it needs to be his idea for him to be cooperative. He's less like like that when around his peers. He's so much more independent playing outside, but still needs to be watched constantly. He thinks it's funny to ride into the street and just takes off wherever he wants to, whenever he wants to. We're just not sure how or when the safety factor and "the rules" will click with him and stay with him.
He knows so much more than he can say or explain, so that gets really frustrating for him, but he's been such a great big brother and I love watching the three of them all play.

Kaitlynn. Also amazing. She can read like crazy. She is intelligent and perceptive. She's shy and gets embarrassed easily, yet she is theatrical and likes to put on a show. Yesterday we were shopping for a gift for a friend and she was looking at a picture frame. It had a picture of an older, gray-haired man and a little boy. She was staring at it so I thought maybe she was stuck on the word. I said, "It says 'Grandpa and Me'." She burst into tears silently. I asked her if she was okay and she just kept shaking her head yes, but the tears kept coming. I got down and gave her a hug and she said, "I just miss my Grandpa." I hugged her again and said I'm sorry that it made her sad, that we all miss him and it's okay. She wiped her eyes, put on her "tough" face and I got up and started to walk away. She caught up with me, put her hand in mine and said, "Just sometimes, so many things remind me of him." And she again had tears sitting on her eyelids. I squeezed her hand, choked back my own sadness and said, "I know babe. Me too. . . me too." I am floored every day at just how much she and I are alike. I can read her heart and her mind instantly at just about any given time. She's a terrific big sister and she's loving that she can pretty much go to the three different neighbors' houses with kids (even across the street) on her own as long as she asks. The little bit of freedom is great for her. Although, all the kids are older, so we do have some arguments. I'm sure there will be plenty this summer.

Mother's Day last year I had a newborn, a 2 year old and a 4 year old. I was exhausted and elated and feeling so incredibly blessed. This year, my 1-, 3-, and 5-year old make me feel the same way. When the whole world is upside down, unfair and stormy, being with them is my foundation, my way to bring it all to a bearable level. Being their mom is the greatest privilege I will ever have.

Encouraging Speech, or Violence?

2011-05-08T07:31:00.002-05:00

Grady loves technology.
We've know that this free cat ap encourages speech for him at Speech Therapy. So we're trying to use it with him. Like everything else that we try at home. . .he doesn't perform or follow our lead as well as he does when he's with his peers or teachers. Prime example is this video. Instead of making sounds, he'd rather knock the kitty out.

Oh boy . . .

Grady Rides

2011-05-07T23:00:00.003-05:00

Last weekend Grady wowed us all. He doesn't have enough strength to pedal on a flat surface just yet, but he does great on a very slight decline and he can finally keep his feet on the pedals!!

Poor Buddy

2011-04-26T16:20:00.002-05:00

This photo was last night, when Grady's temp was 103.8. It took over an hour for the tylenol to kick in, and he just sat and cried silently on and off. Tears streaming down his face, but not a peep. It was completely heartbreaking. Seriously colds, flus, viruses, "bugs"...whatever. ENOUGH.

Easter Pics

2011-04-25T22:14:00.003-05:00

Cousin Teamwork

2011-04-25T22:10:00.002-05:00

Ms. Graceful Hunts Easter Eggs

2011-04-25T22:02:00.002-05:00

From Grandmother's House We Go

2011-04-25T21:41:00.002-05:00

The second 4-hour car ride in less than 48 hours. Three children age 5 and under (who hate to sit still). This video is about 30 miles from home as we tried to be creative with keeping the kids entertained...just before the crap hit the fan and all sorts of crying, whining and yelling ensued until we reached our house.
Grady asked for this song specifically, three times in a row. It's hard to know whether to keep your eye on him or Kiki when music comes on. Entertaining either way. :)

Grady Busts a Move

2011-04-17T10:57:00.002-05:00

We spent Friday at the Pathfinder's Parent Involvement Conference. Friday night we took Grandma Jill and Grandpa Curt to the reception hosted by Designer Genes. A good time was had by all. Two videos: 1 - Grady busting a move and 2- Grady trying to get Cooper to bust a move. Enjoy.

Especially for the Uncles (Kyle and Collin)

2011-03-30T16:56:00.002-05:00

During the holidays, we just couldn't get enough of this song, or Kiki's singing...right Kyle and Collin? I've been meaning to post this for weeks. And now, for your listening pleasure . . .

Grady Rocks It

2011-03-29T22:13:00.002-05:00

We couldn't get it louder . . . leave it to Grady to figure it out. This is Grady rocking and at times "signing!"

More Walking . . .

2011-03-29T22:07:00.002-05:00

Cooper Walks

2011-03-20T21:11:00.002-05:00

It was a big weekend for Cooper. Kaitlynn swore she saw him take two steps alone on Saturday, and I missed it. Kai saw him take two steps today, so I grabbed the camera and after a couple attempts - Kai and I got him on camera taking FOUR steps! It's so awesome, and so bittersweet! At 10 and a half months old, he just needs to keep up with his siblings!

Christmas 2010

2010-12-31T15:23:00.012-06:00

Cooper Fall

2010-10-30T22:19:00.002-05:00

Grady Fall

2010-10-30T22:16:00.002-05:00

Kaitlynn's Fall

2010-10-30T22:12:00.003-05:00

Kaitlynn Update

2010-09-04T23:22:00.004-05:00

We have a Kindergartner on our hands!
And she's developed even more sass in the past two weeks; I had no idea it would happen so soon!

She's loving school and has decided she wants to be able to have "cold lunch" brought from home once in a while. She had a good summer, playing with kids in the neighborhood and hanging out with her grandparents.

She's definitely processing "death" and the loss of Grandpa Chuck. It's hard on both of us.

She loves to "read" and be read to. And she is so dramatic when she talks. I wonder where she gets that?

She says the funniest stuff. Today her dad had her going that he was magic and he and the boys sometimes go to a magic land just for boys. When she got really upset that she couldn't go, I tried to explain to her that her dad did not have a magic bone in his body and that he was teasing her, she replied, "But I believe in magic. I am magic!" From then she proceeded to demonstrate her magic by saying, "Cooper, move your arm....hey, he did it!!"

Dropping her off at school is still hard sometimes, watching her be so big and just take off on her own. The first day of school was pretty hard on her dad, too! We're just so proud of our baby girl!!

Grady Poo Update

2010-09-04T23:00:00.005-05:00

Grady Poo.
G-Rock.

Grady Man (Grandpa Chuck's nickname).

G-Poo.

Well, this little man certainly has had an interesting few weeks. He spent 4 days in the hospital (last Friday night through Tuesday morning). A respiratory infection. Because of his history, they're officially naming it asthma. It was a long, tough few days. So many crazy things happened with him each day. And he's kind of on the mend, but his ear tubes need to come out ASAP, and today his "infection rash" (not to be confused with his "allergic reaction hives") is coming back in full force and his ear hurts. We need to get his lungs well enough to be able to handle the anesthesia for the tube surgery on the 13th. There is never a dull moment with our little man. Right now we're trying to deal with what Kai calls the "liquid crazy," which is the breathing treatments that make him super hyper and change moods. It's not very fun!

He's grown so much this summer! He's still in a 24-month size (at 3 years old!), but he's trying so hard for words. I think it's an amazing development given the fact that he's had recurring ear infections since January, five or six alone this summer. I really don't know what he's hearing at any given time. But we've figured out that he says in his own way, "fix it," "change it," "outside," "juice," and several others. Plus he is getting really good at telling us when he has to go potty, and sometimes will do both numbers one and two! He loves cheering for himself when he does.

He was supposed to start preschool at BECEP on Wednesday. Tuesday will now be his first day. He also was supposed to move with his class to the "3 Year Old Room" at daycare, so he'll start that Tuesday now as well.

A lot of change and illness to deal with, but our little man is a pretty resilient little dude. We'll figure it all out together!!

Happy 4-Month Birthday Cooper!!

2010-09-04T22:40:00.006-05:00

Today Cooper is 4 months old.
He is at least 16 pounds, flipping from tummy to back, scootching like crazy and is the happiest and smiliest baby!

I call him Coop-dog (like Snoop Doggy Dog) or Cooper-de-Dooper (Barney's "Super-de-dooper!") and "my baby boy!"

He's still not sleeping through the night, up once to three times, depending on the night.

We haven't moved him in with Grady yet. Mainly because Grady loves him so much that we're afraid he'll end up in the crib possibly on him!

He began full-time daycare on Monday. I think that momentus step will hit me next week, when we aren't stuck in a hospital! I still hope to bring him to work on some Fridays before he turns 6 months.

Grandma Faye babysat him two weeks ago before he officially started daycare. They bonded so nicely! :)

His brother and sister love playing with him and making him smile, giggle and "talk!"

He loves being outside and is just a wonderful completing addition to our crew!!

Recent Pictures

2010-08-06T22:59:00.005-05:00

Growing Like A Weed

2010-07-13T12:36:00.002-05:00

My grandma used to say that to me every time she saw me.

"You're growing like a weed!"

I never felt that was a good thing. Weeds are annoying...something you try to get rid of. But, I get where she was coming from.

My children are now growing "like weeds."

Kaitlynn has grown 3 inches since February, and I'm sure the bulk of that has happened since it started getting warm in May. Cooper gained almost 6 pounds and almost 3 inches in 9 weeks. And Grady, well, he doesn't gain as much in weight and height as his siblings (in fact, as of today he is at the 15th percentile for weight and is so short he doesn't even make it onto the growth chart for typically developing peers his age). He is 33.5 inches and 27 lbs, 11 oz as of today. This puts him in the 25th percentile for height on the Down syndrome growth chart and 55th percentile for weight. But he is growing this summer in so many other ways.

Last night Kaitlynn floored her dad. She and I have been working on "scrubbing up" and washing her hair and all of that. I've been letting her shower for a bit at the end of her baths to get used to it.

Last night Kai asks her to get her jammies on.

"I want to take a shower."

"Um...why?"

"To practice."

"To practice what?"

And he gives me a weird look - somewhere between shocked and confused.

So I say, "That sounds good. She is good at it, Dad. I'll go get the shower started."

Kai is still a bit stunned.

I get the shower started. We talk about the best ways to get clean and I let her loose.

I came back to the room to nurse Cooper.

"That's it. She is not allowed to get any bigger," says Kai.

I sit silently with a smile. I've been thinking this all summer.

"I mean, I'm sure this is liberating and all for her...but it's sad to me!"

I nod my head.

"We've been doing baths with her for like, well, 5 years!"

"Yes, and once we get used to the idea of her growing up we'll be grateful for her independence," I think to myself.

But do we ever get to the point of being "okay" with our babies growing up?

She did a great job. Almost too good. She showered well, dried well, got her jammies on and then even did her hair and teeth without being asked. She came in to show me what a great job she had done. In all of her big-girl-ed-ness she had taken the liberty to use my body spray in her hair, in a large quantity.

"I like to smell good!" she exclaimed when I asked about it.

I figured she has swimming lessons at 9 a.m. and it would wash out then. No harm done.

She's growing like a weed. They all are.
And like the quack grass in our front yard, there's not a whole lot I can do about it.

Not that in the end I really want to. Parenthood is so bittersweet.

Feelin' Hot, Hot, Hot

2010-06-30T22:58:00.003-05:00

iCarly theme song, over and over and over

Christensen cousins in Sidney

Baby was hungry, mom...

I know Barney can see me too.

I'm at the party too, AND I can sing!

Amy & Addie. Addie was this age at last year's visit!

Our air conditioner stopped working this evening. Today is the hottest day of the summer so far. I know I read 97 degrees on an electric sign today, but I don't know what the official mark was. I had to laugh.

This is so our life.

It brought back funny memories for me - memories of childhood, living in the apartment above the funeral home. All of us camped out in the tall, mint-green shag carpeted living room where the one wall-unit air conditioner was, along with fans....trying to sleep in unbelievable heat...and of course the boxelder bugs. It was the first time I really knew what they were and they had descended upon Cando like crazy that year.

Anyway, here we are - fast forward to my own little crew... camped out in our basement, which is thankfully very nice and cool still.

I was just looking over the hundreds of pictures I've taken in the last month or so. Amy's visit, Kaitlynn's birthday party, the Cando auction, the Sidney trip and Kai's parents' suprise 40th anniversary party, random everyday stuff and more. So much life happens in every moment, it's crazy.

Cooper is 8 weeks old as of yesterday. He's been smiling for a long time, but does so much of it now. His little giggle is adorable and his "talking" (coo, agoo, ahh-ayy, etc) melts your heart. He really is a happy baby. He just loves anyone who will talk to him and hold him! He was 12 pounds as of a week ago and he wore his first 3-6 month outfit (from Chris and Kelli) yesterday...we're moving into that size officially now. Even though I've gone through this now three times, changing baby outfit size STILL makes me sad!

Kaitlynn turned 5 on the 24th. She was in Sidney with Grandma Jill, and cousins Mason and Taylor. Mason and Kiki went to bible school! The week before that she spent with Grandma Faye. It was weird having her gone for so long and we really missed her! She seems so much older now somehow. She asks such interesting questions and rattles off such "grown-up" phrases. She had 7 of her classmates, plus Aubrey and the neighbor girl over on Sunday for her backyard water birthday party. It was such a hit. Thank God grandma Faye was here or we would've never managed! Kaitlynn thanked me "for organizing this party. It is AWESOME! I love it!" It made all the work worth it! Even though we spent all afternoon in the backyard playing in water, and most of yesterday afternoon covering ourselves in princess tatoos and reading, she's excited to go back to daycare full time. Our house isn't as fun as where her friends are. And I guess I better just get used to that. Mom keeps saying, "Once school starts you may as well kiss her goodbye," and that just chokes me up. Where did the last 5 years go?

Grady is a ham and a half. He's trying so hard to find his way to verbalizing things. His teachers have been so excited -- today they reported that they were sure he was saying "Evan" and yesterday he and one teacher were pretending to be talking on the phone and she was sure he said "Hello" and "Who's this?" Every time he sees Kai it's "Hi dad." And when we do our countdown for jumping or whatever I say "One, Two" and he says "DEE!"

I'm enjoying this time with my kids so much more now that I get some sleep once in a while. I witness so much growth each day now, it's incredible. The other day while I changed Cooper's diaper, Grady pretended to do the potty routine. He got his seat, put it on the big potty. Turned around, pretended he was sitting down, then signed "all done", then pretended to wipe, take his seat off, flush and clap for himself. It was one of those moments of laughing because he's so funny, but also deep recognition of just how much he's growing and learning each day. When he realized I was watching him, he batted his eyelashes and gave me a sheepish grin.

There's the hard stuff too. Although Kiki and Grady are really best of friends, they can also be the worst enemies too. They're terrific at getting each other in trouble. Grady definitely has a way with people, and he uses it to his advantage all the time. Charming and irritating all at the same time.
And just yesterday the neighbor girl was explaining to Kiki that her screen can come off her window and they should jump out it (her bedroom is on the second story). Luckily, Kiks was smarter than that and still feels comfortable telling me stuff...but man, I worry what the future holds!

Grady is just getting over strep/scarlet fever and double ear infection. I still wonder about his left ear though. We have follow-up coming up. With that the augmentin he is on has made his insides quite sick and we've spent all week cleaning messes all over. It has been a trying week to say the least!

And now we sweat. But it could be so much worse. A family that sweats together, stays together...that's how it goes, right? :)

A Big Day

2010-06-05T23:50:00.002-05:00

Saturday.
It was a pretty good day, overall.

We worked hard all morning - cleaning, doing laundry, etc. Our house still isn't quite up to par, but with 4 of the 5 of us home most of the time now, it's a bit hard to keep everything up. Usually someone needs something, and often they all need something at the same time. It makes keeping up with everything else a bit hard!

This morning Kai caught "that look" on Grady's face and asked him if he had to go potty. Grady shook his head "yes," so they headed to the bathroom. Grady has been doing so well going potty. Sometimes he heads in there and puts his little seat on top of the toilet himself. We aren't to the point that he tells us when he has to go, but if we keep on schedule, he does really well. On Thursday he was dry all morning at daycare and pottied twice in the bathroom!

Anyway, Grady was actually starting to go poo in his pants when Kai saw "the face." When Kai set Grady on the toilet, he was scared to go (just like Kiki when she was learning) - but HE DID! It was a big cheerfest and he was so proud of himself!

Later when Grady napped, I took my first outing from the house without baby. It was my first separation from Cooper since he was born! I finally broke down and pumped so he'd have some milk while I was gone. I HATE pumping with a passion...but I do have to say it was nice to get 5 ounces in about 11 minutes and finally feel "empty" for a bit. And it was really great to have a little time out!

Later in the day we took a family trip to Lowe's and then Kai filled up the little pool so the "big" kids could play. I'll try to load some of the pics from that later.

All in all, it was a simple day at home, yet a big day for us too!

What Happened to May?

2010-06-01T15:12:00.012-05:00

(If you want to see any photo larger, click on it)

June 1st.

Really?
Cooper is 4 weeks old today.

Really?

What the heck happened to May? Oh, that's right we...

had a baby

had very sick kids

had to adapt to a new daycare schedule

had water fun with the Barkleys

attended a family celebration for Grayson's graduation

had 3/4 of the Dunnigan children stay with us

went to Cando for a "last night" in the house & Scentsy party

went to Maida to say goodbye to the 1964 Jack's Bar and Grandma's house

went to Cando for the Dunnigan Auction and official goodbye to Cando & house

and did all the regular "life" things.

May is a blur. May will be remembered as the blur tied to many emotions. I did not anticipate how hard Kiki would take the auction. She says she'll miss Cando, and grandpa's "toys."

Kaitlynn is doing really well. Her vocabulary is astounding. Recently she was explaining "miss."

"No, mom. It's like this. I will 'miss' daycare to go to grandma's...but not 'miss' like I'll miss Cando. 'Miss' like I won't be there." Just a couple days ago she got about 4-5 inches cut off her hair. I had them cut her bangs too short too. Hopefully I won't have to worry about them now until July. Her dad says this hairdo is the way to go...washing and combing is a breeze now! She is loving Super Kids and dreads shots to for Kindergarten. "I'm not getting my shots until after my birthday, right? I'm just asking..."

She loves playing the with the neighbor girls and will be spending time at each of the grandparents' in June! I plan to get her into swimming lessons in July. She's looking forward to her birthday party at the end of the month!

Grady is also doing really well. Desiring to be super independent, life is interesting. He makes huge messes everywhere. He is trying so hard to verbally communicate, but that is still a bit of a struggle. He is jumping, dancing up a storm, driving the electric jeep, trying desperately to peddle the trike but his legs are just a wee bit too short, giving everyone 5s, kisses and hugs, and is really social again - FINALLY! He is still in love with Barney, and obsession the rest of us are so unbelievably tired of. He will have a Barney birthday this year. He can open doors now (yikes) and he and Kaitlynn both smother the baby a bit too much. He still has a smile that will melt your heart right into butter. We had our last visit with Sharon, the PT from BECEP, last week. It's weird that we're transition to "school" now with him. So much to do, to know...

Cooper, at the moment is asleep. He's been in a growth spurt the past couple of days and wanting to do nothing but nurse. The kids and I took our first group walk today. Cooper loves being outside. He also took a bath last night - and enjoyed it! He had screamed each time until now. He still doesn't care for diaper changes. I sometimes get a 3 hour break, but for the most part (especially at night) Cooper is like clockwork on a 2-hour nursing schedule. He has fussy times, but for the most part, he is a sweetheart. I can't believe he's here with us half the time. It just all still seems like an alternate world or something.

May. In a way, it's nice to have so much of it over with.

But really...it feels like it went by with a snap of the fingers. It seems too much these days that life is just that way.

Kaitlynn's Bad Day

2010-05-10T19:43:00.005-05:00

Kaitlynn's had a rough couple of weeks.

She was pretty sick with a cold - which we were sure started with seasonal allergies. That turned into a double ear infection and eventually severe hives.

We finally got everything under control for her last week, but we had to follow up with the allergist today.

Well, first, her day started by breaking a robin's egg shell that one of her little classmates brought to daycare today. It was quite traumatic as one girl screamed "Kaitlynn broke my egg! Oh, no! My egg! Kaitlynn, why did YOU DO THAT??"...as the other screamed..."I'm SO SORRY! I didn't mean to. I really didn't...I am SO SORRY!"

Tears were flooding the hall. Kaitlynn wanted to leave. "I don't want to be here any more. She's still mad at me and staring at me!"

It was quite traumatic. She was a big girl though and once they had seconds on breakfast, I understand all was okay. We are currently under obligation to keep our eyes out all summer for a new egg shell to bring to this little girl in replacement.

Then, Cooper and I picked her up at 12:30 p.m. to take her to the allergist. After listening to everything, the allergist (whom we haven't seen in 2 years) decided to do a full blown allergy test. I had a feeling that was coming, and I got a pit in my stomach. It got worse as the tray of stuff came in with the nurse. I had a feeling it was going to be awful.

And it was.

The nurse took a moment to explain to Kaitlynn what was going to happen. She was a big girl and thought it wouldn't hurt much. She laid on her tummy while the nurse put dropper after dropper of different stuff on her back and wrote with pen to mark different sections. It was three long rows.

Each of those little droppers then had to be pricked with a needle to let the liquids seep in. It wasn't just a little poke. It was a full blown push into her skin. Over, and over...and over.

It was horrible. Kaitlynn's face turned red, then purple then almost a gray/black color as she nearly hyperventilated with the pain. "My back hurts. I hate this! My back is burning...the pricks HURT MOM!!"

The tears just streamed and streamed and half the time she couldn't breathe enough to say anything. I held her hand tight, tried to hold her down so we wouldn't have to start all over. She flooded the towel under her face over and over. She screamed for her daddy when she could get air.

I couldn't help it. The tears rolled down my face along with hers. When all the pricks were finally done (seriously, two nurses getting it done faster would have been SO much better), I got her calmed down a little with a cold rag to her purple face and fanning air on her sore back as the stuff sat on her pricked skin for 15 minutes. She still said it hurt. When she could see beyond her tears she asked, "Why is there a tear on your face?"

In that situation, I think I felt what my mom must have felt last week, and actually at all 3 births of my children. To watch your child writhe in pain like that is horrid. I just wanted to scream at that nurse to stop. "I hate to see you hurt, baby. But this will be good, we'll figure out what's going on with you. It will all be over soon."

She cried so hard for so long that her eyes were swollen and she broke all kinds of little blood vessels all around her eyes. She looks like she has tons of little purple freckles all in and around her eye sockets.

We learned some good things. We knew she had seasonal allergies. We can count on at least one major "cold" in the spring and in the fall, and possibly every other week in the summer...depending on what kind of summer it is.

We learned that her only two allergens are an outdoor mold, and it's a pretty reactive allergy for her. It's present in spring, summer and fall. It could have triggered her hives, but so could have a virus. We won't know for sure. She has one other outdoor allergy - a tree mix. No way to know which of 4 trees it is, all of which we have here in ND, or if it's a combination of them.

Either way, the allergist says Kaitlynn really should have a teaspoon of Zyrtec each day from spring through fall, with a break through the winter months. That is if she wants to be outside. That would probably mean she'd be well through all those months and if she's on that, she probably won't have another hives episode.

We also learned that she has ZERO allergy left to peanuts and treenuts. We'll start testing her out slowly...but this should mean that we can now have all things nut-related in our house, and even better, show her what all the nutty goodness is about! Peanut butter, cashews, pistachios...BRING THEM ON!

We learned that she didn't react to any foods whatsoever. That's really great news, because for a week I thought maybe something we were feeding her was "poisoning" her body and we couldn't figure it out and fix it.

It really was not a great day for her. But, she did so amazingly well. We let her have orange pop and french fries as a snack/reward on her way back to Super Kids. Yeah, part of me felt like a bad mom because the sugar is going to bother her (something that an allergist can't help us with either...apparently no one can)...and I'm teaching her that soothing yourself with food is okay. So in that sense, it wasn't the best choice. She deserved SOMETHING for that torture, though.

A quick stop to see Dad, who gave her the orange pop she requested, a trip through McD's for a small fry for her plus a mocha frappucino for me, and we both were feeling a bit better about the whole thing. :)

I have been informed by her, however, that I can never bring her back there EVER again.

There was one more bright spot in all that chaos. Kaitlynn got a handful of cool stickers from the nurse for her misery. In those stickers were two Tinkerbell stickers. Tinkerbell just happens to be the favorite of the classmate whose egg shell she broke earlier in the day.

Kaitlynn took both Tink stickers in with her and let the little girl choose which one she wanted, and then each of them wore their stickers together.

I am amazed by my daughter's strength when she needs it. And I admire her ability to think of others even in the middle of her own turmoil. She reminds me a lot of a few people I know...and that makes me so proud.

Cooper Joins the Crew

2010-05-07T13:36:00.005-05:00

What a week.

After days of massive, severe hives for Kiki and respiratory and ear illness for Grady, not to mention painful pre-labor that lasted for days and days and days for me...Grandma Jill came to our rescue last Wednesday, April 28th.

That morning we were 70% effaced and dilated to 3 cm. I was having painful contractions on and off and had gotten to the point where walking was very, very difficult at times. My back was absolutely killing me and the only relief I could get sometimes was getting on my hands and knees and pointing my hind end in the air. I couldn't figure out why I had so much pain and pressure there, nor why I would start and stop contractions all the time...and why if they were so painful, was I not getting any further with them?

Grandma Jill helped us out so very much, we can't thank her enough. My mom came on Sunday and all of us ladies got to hang out together for a while on Monday. It was nice - and good to have a different distraction for that day. Grandpa Curt came on Monday night. Grandpa Chuck came Tuesday night.

Tuesday, May 4, we left for the hospital at 6:30 a.m. I had not dilated any farther during that week, even though it had been pure misery. We walked into the labor and delivery room and I immediately was flooded with flashbacks and strong emotions tied to them from our Grady experience. I will most likely write about all of that on my personal blog - http://www.lifelessonliving.blogspot.com/

It took two attempts to get my IV in. Dr. Jan broke my water somewhere between 7:30 and 7:45 a.m. and eventually they hooked me up to the pitocin too to get the contractions started on a more regular and progressive track.

With Kaitlynn, I did her birth naturally (without a block or epidural) and everything went so smooth. Yeah, it hurt like crazy for the last 20 mintues or so, but the whole experience was almost perfect. It was only half an hour of hard pushing with her. With Grady, I freaked near the end and decided to try the epidural. It was a huge mistake for me. It came far too late, trying to get it in the midst of the worst of my labor was very painful and hard on me, and then the aftermath of all the extra fluid they pump into you with the epidural left me with extremely painful edema and carpal tunnel for many, many days. Grady had respiratory problems and I still wonder...

I said at that point if I ever had another baby, I wouldn't do an epidural unless absolutely necessary. Going into Tuesday morning I left the option open, but really planned to not use it, or much pain medication at all if possible. After everything that happened with Grady, the last thing I wanted was a sleepy baby, a baby who had trouble breathing (as Grady did) or who had to have a "reversal" drug administered to him because of what I took.

The entire thing went relatively quickly as our little boy entered the world officially at 12:19 p.m. and we were the first of 8 babies my doctor delivered THAT DAY. Although technically my doctor missed our delivery!

My nurse couldn't believe how fast things were going. I dilated super quick, the contractions grew unbearable quickly...she said we'd have a baby before lunch!

However, my back was absolutely killing me. I had to keep changing positions to take the contractions. In the tub, on the ball, on a side, standing up, leaning on the bed, on my hands and knees...whatever I could do.

It turns out that little man was in the "posterior postion," head down but face up towards my abdomen. The back of his skull was in the back of my pelvis. He was kind of stuck and we tried everything, every position to get him to spin around. The nurse even had me lie on my stomach at one point. Eventually he did spontaneously spin and then we finally were making real progress. I pushed and worked very hard for over an hour and eventually he came out. I had to stop pushing after his head came out so they could remove the cord from around his neck. One more huge push after that and it was finally over.

It was horrifically painful...and unbelievably exhausting. There were several times that my trembling body felt like it couldn't work any more and I was mentally done. He just didn't feel like he was moving at all despite all of my efforts. But I am so glad that everything happened as it did. Since he was my biggest baby (8 pounds), I don't think he would've spun by himself and if I would've had an epidural I wouldn't have been able to do all the different positions. My body wouldn't have been able to participate to its fullest extent like it did. I think I would've been one of the many, many who end up doing all that work and then having surgery to get him out.

Kai and my mom were rockstars. They kept encouraging me when I was about to give up, they used all of their strength to fight against me as I was in the thick of things. I couldn't have done it without them! When all was said and done, they looked as wiped out as I felt.

When Cooper started screaming bloody murder, I felt like I could finally breathe. Each of us in our own ways checked our new little man out for signs of Down syndrome...or any kind of trouble. Something I will also blog about in my other site. My doctor made it in just as it was time to sew up the little bit of tearing and finish things up. We beat her other couple by ONE MINUTE. :) Luckily another OB had just wandered down the hall in time enough to catch Cooper on his way out.

It was bittersweet to be wheeled to the family room with my newest little boy. This was the delivery scenario I had wanted, expected really, for Grady.

Everything has gone so well. Cooper was definitely ready to be here. He just was a bit stuck and causing me many unhappy days of back labor as he was trying to figure out how to get out. :)

He is a sweetheart. Officially 3 days old today. His big sister is so proud of him. Holds him and snuggles him, and got to show him off at daycare today! Grady is a bit jealous, and isn't liking mom so much at this time...but hopefully he'll come around too! It's hard to not be the center of attention ALL the time any more!

The Christensen Crew is officially complete. We're so in love with Cooper Johnston Christensen - and can't wait to see who he grows up to be!

We're so lucky that God gave him to us to be part of our Crew.

Recent Random Photos

2010-04-25T19:45:00.002-05:00

Kiki forgot the "d" in Grady. Oops.

Kiki learning to read, Grady learning something like the PECS system for communication. Two for one.

Following in Uncle Chris's professional sand-castle making.

My workstation for right now, days nights and all time in between as the clock winds down to maternity leave. So many projects, so little time. :)

Grady loves computers...

especially when he can look at himself on it. :)

Inevitable Change

2010-04-22T10:24:00.002-05:00

I recently got an e-mail from my boss that included this quote.

"Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed."

I have no idea who wrote or said it. It's an interesting concept, though.

Just now I got a text from my cousin Kayla. It read, "Jack's bar has been sold. Open for about one more month."

Oddly enough, that was enough to choke me up and have my eyes well with tears. Geez, I seem to be doing that way too much lately. Part of it is definitely the pregnancy hormones, but the other part is...absolutely everything is becoming different.

Jack is my grandpa. He died on July 4, 2005. Just days after Kaitlynn's birth. My uncle, Jay, has owned and been running the bar and steakhouse for many years now. My grandma and grandpa built that place up. Really, I do believe it was their one and only true love, because that's all either of them knew how to do - work. My dad tells stories of when they first moved "to the bar" and growing up there. Being the oldest of my siblings, I probably have the most memories there.

Each summer when I was little, I would go stay with them. My daily duties included stocking the cigarettes, candy and other snacks, as well as stocking coolers and the off-sale booze on the shelves, among many other things. The worst, absolute worst, was cleaning chicken. Each time I'd reach my hand into that freezing cold water to pull out a piece, some bony part would stab my fingers. It freaked me out.

Oh, don't feel too bad for me. Grandma wasn't really a slave driver. In fact, I got to keep any of the loose change (and sometimes bills!) that she swept up off the floors. I got to dance to the juke box all I wanted to- most memborable to all us are "Don't Mess With My Toot Toot" and "Elvira." I ate waaaaayyyyy too much steak salt. Grandma would give me a shake in my hand, and then when she was not looking I'd take several more. It drove her nuts. My grandpa had a big cart that he carried cases of beer with. He'd sweep me up and set me on top of the cases and roll me around the bar and dance hall. I thought I was pretty cool.

Then there were all the camping trips. "The Hills" and "The Bullet" aren't very far from the bar, so we, as a family, spent a lot of time camping there. That included many four-wheeler rides to the bar to eat, play pool and socialize.

My brothers took Kai camping and riding there last year. I am SO glad he did. He got to take in the ride to and supper at the bar and have a memory like mine.

I knew that they've been working on the sale of the bar for a while. I knew that it was pretty close to a done deal. I have been really happy for my aunt and uncle to be able to sell and try other things in a new place. I worry about my grandma, because working every day in that bar is all she's every known...for over 50 years I would guess.

I didn't expect for the news to make me cry. I also knew my parents were selling the house and having an auction for a long time, and I didn't expect it to make me as sad as it does either. The good news is I now will get a chance to go say goodbye to the house before it's "official." I don't think I'll get to have any more of Jay's chicken or say goodbye to the bar.

And, we have another baby on the way. The last one.

It's a lot of change. It's a lot of emotions and memories.

It's also a lot of excitement for new chapters in our lives.

My family will now be in new locations, doing new and different things.

But we still have each other.

Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed.

Easter Blessings

2010-04-11T07:41:00.005-05:00

Kai had a minor surgery and I'm 8 months pregnant, so we had a very low key Easter this year. Just the four of us. Kiki and I went to church, and made it until about 10 minutes before church ended before I started to see stars and needed air. I think God understands. :) Then we came home and had a quick lunch, a big Easter egg hunt and a big Easter dinner. It was a really nice day for all of us.

Grady is officially getting taller...finally. Outside on the swing set fort he can finally see over the edge without climbing up half of it's side. Tippy toes work just fine now. His shorts from last summer should fit perfectly this year now. :) He is big into putting Carmex (or pretending to) on his lips and is signing all kinds of words lately. He thinks Barney should be on every TV in the house and tells us that whenever we're in a room with a TV. We have his IEP meeting with BECEP on Monday. That's where we meet with a huge team of teachers and providers from the Early Childhood Education program to determine Grady's future with them. It will be interesting to say the least. All of this stuff is!

Kiki is busy turning into a teenager, or so it seems. The other night in the bath she said "Oh that frickin' thing!!" And I said, "Hey - that is NOT a word for you. Little kids do not say that word." She looked at me for a split second and said, "Oh. Okay. Can I say damn?" Oh, we will have our hands full. We're having a little trouble with bedtime as her mind is now working overtime and she has bad dreams as she's trying to fall asleep. She's asked me every day for the last three days why she has bad dreams.

All of us were so excited to have the Arizona/Dakota grandparents return for the summer. They made it to our house on Monday afternoon. The kids were just pumped. Kaitlynn got to spend Tuesday morning with Grandma, and of course she got spoiled with dresses and makeup. She's trying to learn just when it is okay to wear that makeup.

Baby Zasio is super busy. My blood pressure is still pretty good, but I'm measuring 40 cm. The range I should be at is 34-38 (36 roughly) and my carpal tunnel is making life a little difficult, especially sleep. But we get to see Zasio on Friday in another ultrasound to check fluid and baby size. It's exciting to see him again. We really need to figure out a real name for him! My bag is half packed and I have a list of things I still need to organize. Weird that he could be here in as little as 2 weeks now! Work approved me coming back "part-time" at 30 hours per week after maternity leave. That's a big load off of my mind, although there are still so many, many things to decide and organize.

Kai is doing well. Recovering from his procedure a little yet - still sore. Softball practice started Thursday, with the sport actually convening the second week of May.

That's it for now. :)

Grady Moments

2010-03-29T21:45:00.000-05:00

This Weekend

2010-03-21T21:56:00.004-05:00

After what I would classify as a "difficult week," the weekend was the opposite. We hosted Designer Genes families of "the littlest ones" on Saturday, hung out with Grandpa Curt and Grandma Jill on Friday night, watched the Sioux win the WCHA championship, went to a benefit for a coworker, pulled our more baby stuff and got to play OUTSIDE!! Spring feels like it actually does want to come now!

I've started another blog, since I want this to be the main "family updating" blog. You can find my other one, if you're interested, at http://www.lifelessonliving.blogspot.com/

Only a Matter of Time

2010-03-08T22:48:00.002-06:00

It's not a shock that my children have hair-trigger tempers. I've always had one, though it continues to improve with age. Their dad's temper isn't so hot a lot of the time either. They come by it honestly.

Grady, who has been so mild for so long, has now hit the terrible twos. Yes, he's two-and-a-half, but he's just now gotten into full drama mode for tantrums. Throwing himself to the floor, kicking his feet...temper tantrum city. This could be interesting. Knowing that every other stage has been longer than is typical for children...this could be really interesting.

And for a while he has been taking his cues from one of the best - his big sister. She's slowly pulling out of the temper tantrums, but she's been a good model for the past couple of years. Now instead of temper tantrums, it's a bit more sophisticated. We'll call them "emotional outbursts." Everything that upsets her makes her cry, then she gets embarrassed that she's crying which makes the situation worse. And then she sometimes displays the poor behaviors she's seen (most likely from us) to get that emotion out. Yesterday Kai picked Space Aliens for his birthday lunch so he could play games with the kids (what a great dad). When Kaitlynn didn't win very many tickets and knew she wouldn't get very many prizes, she shouted, "THIS SUCKS." It felt like everyone in the game room was staring at us and I was in total shock. It took me a moment to even process, then we had a little chat and the disappointment plus the embarrasment made her cry. Oh, boy...this is going to be interesting.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not really surprised that we've come to this...in fact, given their genetics plus their ages...it really was only a matter of time. Lord, help us.

2010-03-04T22:24:00.002-06:00

It's 10:24 p.m. and I am completely exhausted. Kaitlynn talked me into letting her crawl into our bed until Kai gets home from hockey, so I went to bed early with her. I should've gone to sleep when she did...but there's something so amazing about watching her sleep so peacefully. She really does look like an angel. I quickly forgot about her tired tantrums from this evening.

She told me she had a rough day when I got home. She held up her hand and counted on each finger that went wrong for her today. After each one she'd tilt her head to the side and say, "That was tough."

And every once in a while I can hear Grady with a loud snore or a bit of his cough yet. He was so excited to climb the stairs hand-in-hand with me tonight. I let him lead the way to his room, as he opened his door he pointed at his bed and said "that." He climbed up, laid back on his pillow, put his arms behind his head and grinned from ear to ear as I climbed in next to him. I snuggled him and he rubbed my arm and before long he was out. Again, another peaceful angel I could just sit and watch sleep.

So now I was perusing the internet for a couple baby items I'd like to have within the next 8 weeks or so. Then, and even now, my belly is moving to the rhythym of baby "Zazio" in there. The days are so busy and the nights are such a fog that I don't get to pay attention to the magic of baby creation going on. But tonight I am soaking it in. I feel him moving, I watch my belly, and it's a sign that all is well for him in babyland.

My favorite job really is being a mom. It's something I can remember wanting forever. I'm so blessed to have been entrusted with these three wonders...
Angels...
Miracles...

Gifts.

Winter Fun

2010-02-21T07:49:00.002-06:00

A Down Syndrome Weekend

2010-02-21T06:09:00.002-06:00

"Oh boy. It's going to be one of those days, huh?" Kai asked yesterday morning.

"Yep. I think so," I replied as I tried to hold in a sob.

It had the makings of a very serious Down syndrome day for me. And it has turned into a Down syndrome weekend, actually.

It's very strange. For the most part, I kind of "forget" about Down syndrome. I mean, it's obviously a part of our daily lives, but it certainly doesn't define Grady or our family in any way, shape or form.

But some days, more so than others, everything around me is related to Down syndrome. When I got up yesterday, I checked Facebook to find this amazing link from my friend Sandy McMerty, whose son also has Down syndrome. The song on this blog pierces my heart. The photos are amazing. The story is written by a mom who gave birth to a beautiful little girl and was surprised with the diagnosis of Down syndrome.

It is so extremely well written. I have to admit, some of it actually hurts to read. It's very raw, very real and so very relatable. As I sat and read it, I bawled. Yeah, sure, I've got far too many extra hormones weighing in right now, but I don't think that made much of a difference. As we anxiously await the birth of our third child, so much emotion - and even fear - welled up. I selfishly want nothing more than a drama-free birth this time around. But I am quite aware that I am not in charge, that our family will be completed by whomever God has created for us, and that I have learned so much about myself and my husband in this process that I know we can figure it all out.

If you have a little time, I encourage you to read that blog - link again is - "Nella Cordellia." There's a bit to read, but it is a poetic tribute that really explains a lot. This blog was just the beginning.

I then began working on an invitation for the "Youngest Designer Genes Families" to come over to our house in March. We did it last year and it was such a good experience for everyone. We all have similiar issues and questions, and we've had several new little ones with Down syndrome and their families join our group. I haven't had the chance to meet, or hold!!!, any of them. :) It's strange to think how far we've come and the new issues we face just one year later.

I then just spent about an hour observing my son and welling up with pride. He is just so amazing. All children are, and I love to watch each of my kids for different reasons. Yesterday, Kaitlynn let Grady into her room so he played with her Barbie castle. He struggled and struggled to get Ken and Barbie to the top of her castle to allow them to dance. He would start the music and get one doll up...but he's just a couple inches too short for this to be easy for him. He didn't quit though. He just kept trying different things until I finally asked if he wanted a little help. He turned, grinned hugely and gave me the sign for "help." Once Ken and Barbie were securely in the castle tower, he pushed the music on and danced.

Later that day, my sister-in-law Kelli sent me a 3-minute video link on a Facebook to a link of a grown woman with Down syndrome speaking at her school in Grand Forks. This woman kicked off the school's initiative to "End the R-Word" - to coincide with the national push on March 3. I listened to this woman speak and just wished people my age could hear this and have it resonate. Kelli sent the video news story too. Kids get it - they really do. But if they keep hearing their parents use it, it becomes a part of their vocabulary.

The "r" word is such an annoying thing. I was one of the most ignorant people ever as I didn't get it either. It was never brought to my attention that the way we used it was wrong - and I obviously never took a moment to even think about it on my own. I feel so bad for the years that I used it.

"It just means 'slow' - I can call people/things 'slow.'"

It is so abundantly clear to me now. I really don't understand how I didn't get it before. To call someone or something "retarded," you are clearly trying to put that person or thing down. You are making a derrogatory statement against them and the best insult you could come up with is "retarded." That is saying the person or thing you are referring to should feel bad that you've hurled this "insult" against them. That is saying that the people who are intellectually challenged and actually have this clinical term attached to them are less than you, are a part of our society that is lower than those who don't have intellectual challenges. How in the world is that fair? People with this disabiliity have done nothing to you, did not ask to have this disability and don't deserve to be treated like second-class citizens.

I get tired of hearing that we're "sensitive" - really? It's no different than the "n" word for African Americans, or calling things that you think are stupid "gay" - or any other word that shows complete disrespect for other human beings. Whether we understand others, or agree with how they live their lives, doesn't give us the right to make fun of or disrespect them. We're all here to help each other and make our short experiences on this earth as good as possible. I hate that human nature is to be ignorant and negative.

Okay, off that soapbox for now. But I really appreciate my sister-in-law and her efforts as a teacher to help others understand this - and to share those links with me and Facebook!

I watched Erin Buamann speak on that link and wondered what Grady will look like, or sound like at that age. Will he eloquently be able to communicate with a huge group of people like that?

Then this morning Grady decided that it was time to get up when he soaked through his diaper at 5:50 a.m. So he and I are just hanging out down here with the other two sleep. I again checked Facebook, and another acquaintance of mine sent me this link.

Women tend to be better about expressing themselves, and as you can tell, I drink all of that up...whatever I can find. But I really marvel at anything I can find written by a dad. I wish sometimes I could crawl into Kai's brain and see all of this from his point of view, but we are just wired so differently, and you know by now that I'm the wordy one. :)

Anyway, this post from a dad with a son with Down syndrome was sent to me. I find the post to be touching, but I find the fact that this dad blogs even more interesting. One more source to check out as we wander this interesting and different life path with our son.

I have to work for a large portion of the day today, so my "Down syndrome weekend" will soon come to a close. That's probably a good thing because my emotions are tired, and will welcome the break. But I fully expect to have many more Down syndrome days for the rest of my life...and that is a good thing. Each time I learn something new, I grow, and I become a better mom.

Creative Kiki Haye

2010-02-05T18:13:00.002-06:00

Each day Kaitlynn's drawings and stories get more and more creative. I'm just going to post a few drawings and some of the stories for your enjoyment. :)

Story 1: My mom said, "Come down and eat lunch." My dad said, "We are going to have chicken soup." This is when we stayed home on Saturday. I was reading a book and then Grady messed it up. I ate a snack and it was good. The end.

Story 2: I'm going to make a snowman! When I was at daycare I was playing princesses. When I was sleeping I had a dream about cats. When mom and dad were sleeping I tip-toed into their room and I put the envelope in their room. There was a beautiful picture in it. When we were opening presents my dad got a sweater and some pants. My brother got a tractor and a ball pit. Mom got a funky purse. Me and my grandma were making wreaths.

Story 3: This is my mom. I made it the best I can. My mom is a princess and the mean witch locked her in a tower. A prince rescued her and that is my daddy Kai. Then they had supper at an old place. I was the Queen's daughter and I built a snowman out of sand at the old place. My mom said, "Yes." We went out on a boat and ate supper. There was five of us.

Story 4:If I were a machine I would be a popcorn popper. I would make popcorn for people to eat at movies. My mom, dad and brother are popcorn poppers too. I am a small popcorn popper - I weigh 30 pounds. The end.

Balance

2010-01-17T20:59:00.003-06:00

This was a really great weekend - a bit chaotic, hectic and exhausting for a pregnant lady - but great. Kai had a hockey tournament and the Barkleys returned to Bismarck so "Batman and Robin" could skate together again. Ashlyn (4) and David (7 months) were here to play with our two, plus cousin Aubrey hung out with us on Saturday night, so we had quite the lively crew!

Tonight has been so quiet - we've been going nonstop since Friday - so tonight just feels slow. It's a good slow, but it's times like these that my brain sometimes gets the best of me. Tonight I watched very disturbing video from Haiti and my heart broke into a million pieces. All of those lives lost, all of those families devastated and years worth of ruin to try to rebuild in a place of total poverty the way it is. A friend of mine recently spent time there doing some missonary work with her church and to see the video now compared to even the sad picutres she took at that time...it just doesn't seem right.

I also can't stop thinking about the Larson family - a family we've gotten to know in Bismarck thanks to Designer Genes. They've had their little Gracie in Minnesota since before Thanksgiving. They've made it through the diagnosis of Down syndrome, open heart surgery and bilateral strabismus repair. Then all of a sudden Gracie was losing her ability to pull to stand and other things and they found out she has a posterior & anterior spinal cord compression(C1, C2, C3). This is extremely serious, and I think we all feel that Gracie and her family HAVE HAD ENOUGH! She's been battling hurdles to try to get well enough for a major surgery, but issues keep creeping up. Gracie is a powerful little girl though - she is tough, beautiful and sweet. Each day when I see a Caringbridge article notice in my e-mail, I take a deep breath and pray that today was a good day. I have to admit that some days I don't feel I have the strength to find out what happened that day, or see pictures of Gracie in her halo and all the other stuff around her. Yet, she fights on, with her family there beside her every day. You can find out more about Gracie on the link we have to her blog, or her caringbridge site at http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/gracielarson.

So I decided my preggo hormones had enough. Kaitlynn and Grady always have the TV, but tonight I got to choose for about an hour and so I thought I'd watch something uplifting and inspirational to get my mind in a better place. Perhaps not my wisest decision, I chose "Extreme Makover: Home Edition." Tonight they helped a family whose dad was disabled from the waist down. They helped him (and the disabled brother who lives with this man's family) have a home where they could be more involved in the day-to-day family activities and whatnot. He even got to scuba dive with the fish to show his kids his abilities. He said that he wanted his kids to think about erasing the "dis" in front of ability because he really does have so much ability. When he was swimming in the huge tank, he wrote a note to his wife and kids that said, "I love you ALL."

In that moment, I was so happy for that man that I don't know. And yet, I looked at my son, happily bopping his head side-to-side with the music of his ball-popper, and I lost it. My son, with his disability, will never have kids. Having a family life like this man, or even like ours, is most likely not in the cards for him...and that realization sometimes is incredibly hard.

Kai saw me and asked me what was wrong. So I told him. I asked him if that ever bothered him. And he said, "Yeah...but I try not to think about it like that. I think, 'It's better to have him here and maybe not be able to do some things than to not have him here at all.'"

That is so true, and it's been the page Kai and I have been on since the first minutes Grady joined us in this world. It is how I feel every day, and it's with that frame of mind that I try to meet every challenge that comes our way.

Balance. That's why God brought Kai and I together. We fill gaps and help each other find equilibrium when the other might lose his or her way a little bit. It's why we have the kids we have, the life, the family and the friends we have. Balance.

As the world turns its attention to Haiti, it could mean good things for those people in the midst of complete dispair. At least that's what I pray for. Gracie and her amazing fighting ability, and the ability to see God's grace through her, balance out all of the fears that people have for her and her situation.

It's hard to say what Grady would choose to do with his life if circumstances were different. Kaitlynn, disability free to this point, may not choose to have a family or do any of the things my mind thinks she will. There is no balance in thinking about what "could be"...because the "ifs" are too numerous. The balance is in what is. Living in what is, and being grateful for it.

Life, though difficult and confusing sometimes, is good.

Thank God for Friends

2010-01-14T22:47:00.007-06:00

This past week, something has happened each day that has made me realize just how imporatant good friends really are. Unfortunately in this busy work/family life, there just doesn't seem to be enough time for those "extensions of your family"...and it's really too bad. But I'm extremely thankful for the time I've had with each, and the reminders this week.

During a wedding reception on Saturday, "Cecilia" came on. This is "our" song for Steph and me. There wasn't a time from age 19 through 25 that I danced to that song without Steph. During the reception, I texted her in NY and we conversed through the song. So far away, such different schedules...but we still can connect like yesterday.

Sunday morning, Kai and I got to hang with the Flanagan ladies, and their parents of course. Each time I see Shanna I am amazed at their family and how awesome she is. She always has been, and always will be - but it's soooo great to witness it as we age!

Sunday afternoon, an old KFYR colleague and dear friend called to say she got engaged in France and invited us to put Aug 7 on the calendar for her wedding. No one has been more patient than she in finding "Mr. Right" and the sound in her voice just made me well up with joy for her. She really deserves it!

Monday an old college friend told me she wanted to host a Scentsy party. Ahhh, a "reason" to finally connect when we live in the SAME TOWN! :)

Tuesday I unexpectedly got to have an impromptu lunch with Jody and baby Morgan. Awesome. We can't even plan lunches because it never works, but the stars aligned!!

Tuesday after work, a Christmas package arrives from Amy. In it are items that are so specific to "us" and our friendship. I just sat and smiled at the items and thought about how lucky I am.

Wednesday, Jody needs computer help. A quick family trip to the Kerzmans, and I've gotten to see Jody - AND snuggle Morgan, twice in one week!

Oh - and maybe the biggest thing that started this whole week of friendship love off - was my friend Gabe's reception. Gabe grew up with us, kind of like my 4th brother. We've had our fights like brother and sister too! But while growing up through high school, it was kind of an unwritten rule that at any dance of any type, if "Fishing in the Dark" came on, it was time to find each other and 2-step.

Well, the tradition continued at my wedding and my brother's wedding. Gabe's reception was Saturday night and they had a live band. Almost half-way through the evening, "Fishing in the Dark" did break out. It was his wedding, and he was constantly surrounded by people, and I'm large & preggo...so I thought I'd just sit. I watched for him, just in case...and sure enough...as the beginning chords were finishing up, there comes Gabe across the dance floor to our table to grab me to 2-step. It was the only time we had to talk that evening and he is so content, so happy and there's nothing better than seeing how you feel about life on the face of your friend. You want everyone you love to have that kind of happiness. And it meant so much to me that the 2-step tradition continues. I think it will when we're attending each other's kids' weddings!

And today, it ended up being a 13-hour work day, piled onto a week that just won't seem to end. But I see on Facebook that my old classmate Jo posted a "Retro" picture of the Gronos girls, Shanna and myself from maybe junior or senior year. I honestly laughed out loud. It was just what I needed this afternoon! Even if you really never talk and never see each other but once every 10 years, you've shared important time and memories...and that really does mean a lot. And yes, Jo, you lucky girl I bet you WERE wearing rayon behind the camera where we can't see you...but I suppose that's better than Zubas!! :)

Now we get to spend the weekend with our friends who moved to Dickinson this spring - the couple who introduced me to Kai and started this whole crazy journey we're on together.

Yes, friends - and the "old ones" are always the best! - truly are an extension of your family and I couldn't live without them!

Giggling with Grady

2010-01-14T22:46:00.001-06:00

You Know Its Cold When...

2010-01-14T22:44:00.003-06:00

It has felt like a tropical heat wave hit Bismarck the past couple of days. I didn't even wear my coat most of today while outside! However, these pictures are from the inside of my main level window just one week ago, where lows were in the -30s...WITHOUT windchill. Wacky weather!

Busy, Busy Baby

2010-01-01T14:09:00.003-06:00

Baby number 3. I must admit, every time I think about it...I get excited and totally overwhelmed at the same time. When you've had "interesting" experiences like we have had with Grady over the past three years from pregnancy through now, your life - your thoughts, your emotions, your outlook - everything is forever changed.

As I sat waiting for the 2o week ultrasound the day before Christmas Eve, my mind thought about the previous two "half-way point" ultrasounds we'd been through.

Kaitlynn was sheer excitement. What would we see? Would we be able to make anything out? What all will they tell us in there? How long does it take?

Seeing baby Kaitlynn wiggle like crazy and kick against the probing was thrilling. Feeling her and seeing her at the same time, well, there just aren't words to describe it. I had two ultrasounds before this with her- but at this one you could really see her. Her little frenulum under her nose looked exactly like her dad's. We knew she'd be a little Kai. We had at least one other ultrasound with her and it was so great to see her each time.

With Grady, our 2nd ultrasound was at 20 weeks. He was the same size as Kaitlynn and we did find out he was a boy. The anticipation to see him was huge again, but a little of the magic "wonder" of the whole process was gone. Kai and I both cried to see he was definitely a boy. It was obvious to me that his profile was different from Kaitlynn, but I didn't really focus on that at that time. One of each - man, were we lucky! However, he wouldn't sit still enough to see his little heart well enough - so they said we'd do another quick scan at the 24-week appointment. That 3rd ultrasound was anything but quick and I immediately knew something was different. Dr. Jan came in to tell me that one of Grady's heart chambers had an EIF - and that meant a doubled chance of this baby having Down syndrome. They had only been using this "marker" for a couple of years and in the VAST majority of cases it meant absolutely nothing. I have had several friends have EIFs as well...and nothing. Both my doctor and the ultrasound tech talked about their disdain for this marker. It meant our chances went from in in about 8 or 900 to one in about 400+ ish. There were absolutely no other markers and the pregancy was typcially on course for my atypical body. It's funny how three little letters - EIF - forever changed us and the way we view and react to pregnancy.

I was anxious for days before this 20-week ultrsound with baby 3. Anxious that I wanted to "meet" this little one and anxious about what we may learn about him or her. Once again, Kai and I held hands, and I held my breath, as the little wand moved over my belly to find baby. After a little while and showing us "big" parts to baby, she started zoning in on parts of baby's head and brain so I knew the heart was next.

"You're not supposed to tell us if you see an EIF or anything like that, right?"

I wonder how often she gets questions like that.

The tech kindly smiled and said, "We're not supposed to...but I'll let you know if I see anything going on with the heart." We looked at the chambers...I didn't see anything, but I'm not the expert.

She said, "Everything about the heart looks really good."

A big, heavy sigh rolled out of me and tears flooded my face. Those three little letters - EIF - weren't something we'd be contending with this round. Sure, over the next 20+ years, we're going to have a lot to contend with this little one...much we won't discover until this baby grows and matures. And there could be many other things that come our way that we will have to learn about and navigate through...but for sure not an EIF at this early juncture. And that felt really, really good.

I was so overwelmed in thought that I never asked about my fluid levels (always a problem) or the baby's size or anything. We did find out that this little one is a boy. That makes room arrangements simpler, but I am a bit sad that I will never have cute little curly pigtails and ruffle-butt clothes again in our house. I know figuring out a name is going to be excruciating...why are boy names so hard? But I look forward to meeting and loving this little boy with all my heart!

Everything looks to be going smashingly well this time around. Something I am definitely not used to. I'm generally not a pessimist, and I ceratinly am not wishing for anything to go the opposite direction...but I also am quite aware that there are no guarantees in life. I hope and pray for this baby to continue to grow and develop well. I hope and pray for a safe delivery for both of us. I pray a NICU stay is not in the cards this time around. Beyond that, we'll take it one day at a time...and love our happy little 5-person Christensen Crew and the blessed life together we have been given!

Oh, the Weather Outside is Frightful...

2009-12-26T08:41:00.014-06:00

Well, the blizzard certainly hit. Grandma & Grandpa left yesterday morning before 8 a.m. for their trek to Cando, Maida and Grand Forks. Kyle and Collin left yesterday early afternoon and made it home about 7. We watched the roads - I29 closed early in the day, not to reopen at all. I94 closed by supper time, along with Hwy 83 and Hwy 2 from Minot to Devils Lake. The entire state was "no travel advised." It was nerve-wracking having them all out in that, but you can't talk logic to a Dunnigan!! :) They all got stuck in and around Grand Forks, but the highway travel went okay for them.

I think they were all ready to get out of here after the kids were all hopped up on Christmas adrenaline and waaaaayyyy less sleep than both of them need! It was a different kind of Christmas. The first in our house other than just the four of us. It was so nice - my best Christmas present was having mom and dad home, and the family to be together. Of course, I missed Chris, Kelli and Cohen - but I understand how hard it is to all be together the older we get!

After almost a month of banter between Kaitlynn and ourselves, we played a Christmas joke on her.

"Mom, what are you getting me for Christmas?"

"Underwear and socks."

"No...you're teasing, right?"

"Ask your dad."

"Dad, what did you get me for Christmas?"

"Vegetables."

"Noooo...that can't be right. You're lying...right?"

This banter went on for weeks. So the first present she opened from us was underwear, socks and two cans of vegetables. Kaitlynn was stunned, everyone laughed and she burst into tears and ran screaming to her room. As my mom said, we've scarred her for life. She just doesn't get the joke. She still keeps asking why we would do that to her when she didn't like it. I thought she'd be really mad, I didn't know the tears would flow. I guess I should've - she's a lot like me and at 4 I probably was as literal and black and white as she is now. I hope some day she'll forgive us.

The kids love the gifts they got from everyone. They spend 5-10 minutes with each one and keep making rounds, it's impossible to keep the house picked up!

Kai got me a pregnancy pillow that is super long and wraps around you in a bunch of different ways. I've wanted one since my pregnancy with Grady. I took my Scentsy earnings and got him a Wii, which he's wanted for two years. He currently is addicted and his shoulder hurts from it. Sad, sad, sad. He's a happy guy though. We've seen just how competitive he can be, and how sore of a loser Kaitlynn is...we're going to have to work on that!

We are so amazingly blessed.

I watched my mom on Christmas Eve morning, sit in the somewhat quiet front room, in the dark, staring at the lit Christmas tree and sipping coffee. That's actually one of my favorite things to do at Christmas. All year long I am constantly reminded of how blessed we are. But at Christmas time, when thing slow down a bit and you can erase work and other things from your mind completely for a day or two...it can be overwhelming...these feelings of gratitude I have.

With the blizzard, we didn't get to do much at all yesterday. Stuck inside, I organized Kaitlynn's room - with Grady's slated for today. We'll put some of his new toys up there and maybe our early riser will choose to play with them in the morning instead of get us up. Doubtful, but we'll see! I know I'll be in for another full day of negotiations with my daughter - in fact she was just here.

"Can I have a mint, mom?"

"No you just had breakfast and we're cutting down on the sugar, remember?"

"Yeah. Maybe later?"
"Maybe later."

"Maybe when that hand on the clock gets to the six?"

"Oh, boy. Um...we'll see."

We're hoping the wind dies down a bit so we all can help Kai move snow today. Yesterday we had help from Kyle and Collin. We're all in need of some fresh air, even if it's just for a few minutes!

We had our 20-week ultrasound Wednesday- and all looks really, really well! There will be another little BOY addition to the Christensen Crew in 18 to 20 more weeks! And we're gearing up for Grady's second ear tube surgery bright and early on Monday morning. Mom and Dad go home Monday too - and we won't be seeing them until their mid-April return to North Dakota. Ugh. In waiting for baby, that seems quick. In waiting to see your parents, that seems like forever!

Happy holidays, everyone!

Christmas Craziness

2009-12-20T20:59:00.007-06:00

On Friday we got to witness Kaitlynn and Grady's first Christmas program at daycare. It was so adorable. Of course, I barely made it on time and actually got a speeding ticket on the way. Grady got up at 6 that morning, so he was sleeping in his teacher's lap until the music started. He sat nicely there and even clapped a few times throughout the 20-minute program as he slowly woke up. Kaitlynn swayed to the beat and sang each word on cue. She gave us huge smiles and waves and did an awesome job. I was so glad to be there.

After getting both kids on the mend this week after pink eye, colds, and tummy virus, Kai and I came down with killer colds just in time for the weekend. That made the busy weekend very interesting.

On Saturday, Kaitlynn and I were able to make some holiday goodies. With me feeling like crud and her hopped up with excitement, it was a little short of a Martha Stewart-worthy memory. I keep thinking about how from this point on, Kiki will actually remember things. I want tradition, I want memories. But after all was said and done, we had a heaping mess, had to throw away the wreaths and didn't get time for the fudge. Even though it wasn't as smooth and fun as I had wanted it to be, I think she'll be proud to show off her stuff to Grandma Faye and she'll be excited to do it again next year. Plus, she gets to do sugar cookies with frosting when Grandma gets here, so all will be well.

Today was a disaster in a few ways. Kaitlynn has really gotten into the spirit of the holidays and she has been cutting and pasting and creating little gifts that are stacking up like crazy. She decided to sneak the scissors up to her room. After a couple of minutes up there I thought things were a little too quiet. So I went up and caught her as she was about to cut off her 5th or 6th chunk of hair. Did she need a haircut? Nope- we just had that done last weekend. She was filling her play hairstyling station drawer with her hair. You have to really look to see the damage, that is until we try to put a ponytail in or something. That's not going to work so well. We were upset and she got a time-out that made her very sad because she was doing something she knew she shouldn't - but really, both Kai and I remember doing the very same thing. And it really could look worse...maybe it will as we try to grow it out!

Shortly after that, Grady lost his balance at the top little tier of steps and fell down those 5 steps. He was fine but he scared the living daylights out of Kai and me. He's very "gumby" which probably is a good thing sometimes, but at the same time, there are possibilities that certain things are more fragile...so it's just plain scary. Not that falling down steps at any point of time is okay...it's always scary!

Looking at the bright side, everyone is okay and we're looking forward to Christmas with family here! Who needs edible Christmas wreaths anyway?

Giving Thanks and Looking Forward

2009-12-05T08:51:00.010-06:00

I have giggled so much this morning. Watching my son this morning, I was reminded again (as we so often are at our house) just how thankful I am for our life together.

This morning Grady was using his sign language like crazy. It was SO exciting. If you know sign well, you would have trouble deciphering Grady's language. I like to think of it as "Grady sign." He is somewhat close to what most of them are, but at the same time each sign looks very similar.

He was telling me "up," asking for "help," telling me "thank you," along with "yes" and "no." He babble-read his new Christmas book, he danced to another musical book doing "We all fall down" and giggling as he plopped on his bumper. He was dancing forward and backwards on beat.

How far we've come in a year.

Kaitlynn is busy singing her own versions of Christmas songs, which also makes me giggle. "Frosty the snowman was a jolly happy SNOW. With pup-pop-pipe and button snowman and two eyes made out of coal."

Kaitlynn is empathetic, compassionate and loves her brother so much. She also can turn on a dime with her short temper and fit-throwing flares. But when it comes to Grady, the two are the best of friends! She constantly is coming up with ways to adapt their games and toys so Grady can do what she does. It's amazing how she just instantly does that. The two of them can giggle at each other nonstop and it's so much fun to watch them.

Kaitlynn tells me every morning that she can't wait for Christmas and asks "HOW MANY DAYS???" She's loving Super Kids. Right now they have a letter each week. We collect household items starting with the letter of the week and she brings them in on Friday. Each child gets to give clues about each item and have the class guess. I love listening to her clues. She is writing her letters so well - and is at the point where she'll string 3 lines of capital letters together and wonder what it says. She is "writing." Sometimes she reads me the stories she has "written."

It's been yet another unusual month. Mom and I laugh because the craziest stuff happens to me/my family. My coworkers laugh because my life is like a soap opera and they love to wait for the next episode. Last week we cooked our first big Thanksgiving with Uncle Kyle and Collin (it was soooo good and so much fun!), someone stole my debit card information and purchased over $1700 worth of flights to me, and my parents sold our home in Cando, and we were so busy that we missed Curt's birthday. How horrible.

Identity theft sucks. It is time consuming, nerve-wracking, and infuriorating. But it sure made for great drama - my coworkers were on pins and needles for each new development as authorities investigated and followed the trail.

The week before I ended up traveling 4 of the 5 work days across North Dakota and had some weird & painful skin infection that antibiotics didn't even clear up. It's coming and going yet. Oh, and I launched my Scentsy "business." I'm a consultant and I don't expect to put a ton of time into it (because I don't have it to give), I am really in love with the product and already know I enjoy having the opportunity to hang with other ladies and laugh and talk.

That's just two weeks of busy drama - but even so, all of it reminds me to be grateful. As other families we know struggle with very serious health issues, we're dealing with non-life threatening stuff. As my parents sell our childhood home, I'm thankful that they are able to get a fair price by Cando standards after all they've put into it, and they won't be dealing with the stairs and all the maintenance, lawn work and cleaning. I'm thankful that a young couple (a guy I used to babysit!) is going to have a family there to fill that house with many more wonderful memories.

I am grateful that the identity theft is clearing up, I still have a lot of work to do with it, but at least there hasn't been any more...yet. Some people lose everything and are on the hook for thousands and their lives are destroyed forever.

We also did our triple screen test (testing my blood) the week of Thanksgiving and were given the news that per that test everything is looking well for the different chromosomal issues it can check for. Trisomy 21 (Down syndrome), Trisomy 18 and spina bifida are a few of them it can detect. Of course, nothing is foolproof and anything can happen - but we are thankful for the news that at 17.5 weeks this baby looks to be doing very well!

I've entered the "oh, you're so cute" and "are you sure you don't have twins?" phase a little earlier this time around - everyone assures me that's typical when your body has done this a couple times before. I'm hoping for pants for Christmas!

I asked, and Kai has nothing to report. Although he has expressed waves of gratitude several times over the last couple of weeks for this crazy, wonderful life we have.

We know how blessed we are - to have a warm home, jobs in a tough economy, to have the worlds most amazing family and friends, and each other.

As the Christmas countdown continues in your homes, we hope you're able to take stock of your blessings as well!

First Family Adventure - Arizona Trip!

2009-11-21T07:15:00.006-06:00

Limitations vs. Strengths

2009-11-01T20:36:00.003-06:00

I found this quote on a newsletter we receive. It really made me think. I'm a relatively impatient person who wants things done my way. It's no secret to anyone who knows me well. It's something I've tried to work on for years and years. I think I'm getting better with it, but that's my own view.

I realize that my anal retentive tendencies are both a strength and a weakness. In any given moment, in any given situation...it could be one or the other. I sometimes get frustrated with my husband when he doesn't share my same tendencies...but really the frustration is with myself for EXPECTING him to behave the way I think it correct. And I hate to admit it, but when I see my kids leaning toward some of my similar tendencies, I secretely smile inside. That stuff just can't be taught. It's either there, or it's not.

Although I found this quote on a newsletter that we receive because of being blessed with Grady, I think the quote really applies to EVERYONE. With or without Grady in my world, I would still have to spend time learning the strengths and limitations of each of the people I know - and choose to accept and love them no matter what.

So, the next time you're having trouble with your kid, a spouse, a coworker, a friend...anyone, take a breath. Examine the situation. Are you creating the angst and frustration, annoyed that you're not getting your way? Perhaps what you find annoying might actually be that person's diamond in the rough!

"There is another and perhaps greater danger involved in this matter of accepting the limitations of others. Sometimes we are apt to regard as limitations qualities that are acutely the other person's strength. We may resent them because they are not the particular qualities which we may want the other person to have. The danger lies in the possibilities that we will not accept the person as he is, but try to make him over according to our own ideas."
-Eleanor Roosevelt

Happy Halloween!!

2009-10-31T20:15:00.003-05:00

Is Rod Stewart a Genius?

2009-10-27T20:48:00.000-05:00

The topic of Rod Stewart's music is one of debate between Kai and me. Thanks to my dad, I learned to love Rod Stewart's music early. When I hear one of his songs, particularly his "new" songs from when I was about 12 & 13, I feel I must burst into melody.

This seriously annoys Kai. Not only does he HATE Rod Stewart, but he hates that I know the lyrics. "You WOULD know this song!!"

Tonight I sit alone in my motel room in Minot. Tomorrow morning I get to speak about financial aid/college planning to 400 seniors. Oh, yes - I know just how excited they are to listen to me.

Anyway, the drive was long thanks to road construction. As I was about half way here, one of my favorite RS songs of all time came on the radio. And since I was alone in the car, I got to crank it up and belt it out.

"May the good Lord be with you
Down every road you roam.
And may sunshine and happiness
Surround you when you're far from home.
And may you grow to be proud, dignified and true.
And do onto others as you'd have done to you.
Be courageous and be brave,
and in my heart you will remain forever young."

When I hear this song, I actually see snapshots of my life with my parents...and as I age, I also see snapshots of us with our children mixed in. Perhaps it's pregnancy hormones, perhaps it's because I have heard some sad news lately...or perhaps it's just because I have always been a ridiculously emotional person...but I choked up with welled eyes.

I would imagine that RS is not the genius behind those lyrics, so I suppose I should not give him the credit. But I really, really do love the poetry in the words. And I so enjoy the 3-minute reality check...from a wonderful life as a little girl...to a wonderful life as a mom. It's like a slideshow in my head set to Rod Stewart.

"And when you finally fly away, Ill be hoping that I served you well.
For all the wisdom of a lifetime
No one can ever tell.
But whatever road you choose, I'm right behind you, win or lose.
Forever young..."

Time to Myself...REALLY?

2009-10-25T00:19:00.000-05:00

It's 12:20 a.m. and I just watched the Sioux's last 2 minutes of play. With about a minute and a half they pulled the goalie and Zajac scored. They needed one more goal to tie for overtime. But it didn't happen...they lost. The #2 nationally ranked UND hockey team took a loss tonight. Apparently wearing my Sioux sweatshirt didn't bring out the luck this evening. Not the best way to end such a great day - but even so, it's not enough to dampen this weekend for me!

This has been an incredible weekend. As an early birthday gift, Kai took the kids to Sidney so I could have a weekend to myself. After weeks of some pretty awful morning sickness and tummy trouble, and much lost sleep...it was magic to my ears. I haven't had the house to myself since I was in early pregnancy with Grady. A LONG time, in other words.

It was Wednesday, when I was running over the day's schedule in my head as I packed Kaitlynn's bag for daycare/preschool. Kaitlynn said, "Grady doesn't go to Super Kids early like me today because he has OT." I responded, "Close. He has Speech here at the house after I drop you off and then we go to PT at St. A's, and then I'll take him to Super Kids in time for lunch with his friends. OT is Mondays and Fridays, and sometimes speech is also on Fridays."

Information overload for her. And I don't know why I felt the need to clarify for her. It's not like she knows the difference, or really even cares. But it was that same moment that I took a deep breath and thought, "And there's also work and deadlines and after work schedules to keep up with. Wow...no wonder I am so tired and feel like I really need this break."

I know how stressful it is having Grady in unfamiliar environments around people he doesn't see at least once a week. I know how hard it is to travel with both kids. Kaitlynn who is demanding, and Grady who hates his car seat and lets you know it all the time. That's why I am so very greatful to Kai for even making this happen. I've taken both kids for little trips a few times since Grady was born, but this was a first for him.

After work on Friday, I went to Target - and got to take my time to pick up things for today. I cleaned and did some laundry last night and watched a little hockey before falling asleep. I didn't get up with either kid all night and got up when I felt like it. I grabbed some groceries, made some dip and waited for a few friends to start showing up to scrapbook. The last time I did that was maybe spring...but probably even longer than that.

I scrapped from 10:3o a.m. to 11:30 p.m. and finally finished Grady's 1-year book, a goal I've had for a year now. I also got each of their "professional photos" books updated and a few other things organized. That all feels great. But I also had a day of friends coming and going, whom I never get to see. It was so fun having girlfriend discussions, and just catching up with everyone's lives. Stuff just flies by for all of us and you easily lose touch with what's happening with each other.

Our lives are vastly different, and so completely the same.

After weeks of agonozing over the H1N1 vaccine, the kids and I finally got it this week. I was still feeling nervous about it - and after talking with other pregnant ladies and moms, I realize I'm not the only one. We all feel "damned if we do, damned if we don't." And we have that in common in so many things as wives and mothers.

It's necessary time like this, although it's very rare, that reminds me that I'm more than just a wife, mom, and employee. It is good to be a little selfish once in a while and find yourself again because it's too easy to get lost in all the day to day stuff.

There's nothing I love more in my life than being a mom, but every once in a while it's really nice just to get to be Jamie again.

We Have Some News

2009-10-13T06:06:00.000-05:00

"Kaitlynn, mom & dad have some big news for you," we said. We took her out for a special dinner at Subway last night before both of us went to watch her at gymnastics. It was a special night for her to have us all to ourselves. Her eyes grew big.

"What?" she asked.

"You get to be a big sister again." She looked perplexed as Kai was trying to explain.

"Mommy has a baby in her tummy, so you get to be a big sister again when the baby is done growing and ready to come out."

"She looks down at my belly, "No...no, you don't!"

"Yeah, it's just really tiny. It takes quite a while to grow."

"Ahh, why did you do that again?"

We knew her initial reaction wouldn't be thrilled, she's said a few times we don't need any more babies.

"You're such a really great big sister that we thought it would be okay to have one more baby for you to teach things to."

"Oh. How did it happen? How did the baby get there?"

Okay, so breaking the news to a 4-year-old is a lot different than breaking it to a 2-year-old. At that last question, Kai and I laughed and Kai said that it was up to me to explain. As I began to try in a very high level manner, she started wondering about if it would be a girl and said she really wants it to be a girl. We went that route with the discussion. :)

I remember feeling that way when mom told me that she was having another baby, her fourth. I already had two brothers...so I really had my heart set on a sister. Kaitlynn even said if it's a girl the baby can sleep in her room - we didn't even bring up room arrangements!

We had our first OB appointment. In true Jamie fashion, it took forever. An ultrasound confirmed a squirmy little "squirrel-looking" baby that has tiny little arm and leg buds. His or her heartbeat was 174 (Kiki was up there, Grady's was 150s/160s). And we are 10 weeks. Usually we wait until we're at least 12 weeks so we know that the pregnancy should be okay, but this time around I already have a small bump and it's less easy to hide. We hope that everything goes well from this point on.

And it has already. Compared to my other pregnancies, this one has actually been fairly typical. I had a positive result at an in-home test early on (usually I have to be 7 weeks or farther before that happens) and I haven't had all the early complications that I've had the last times. It's a refreshing change, and at the same time I have a hard time really believing it because it's so different. Different makes me worry that things aren't okay...but really so far different for me just means fairly typical for most people.

We have talked over and over all the concerns that comes with another pregnancy and another child. We know we have increased odds of now having a second child with Down syndrome. In 6 weeks I will do a triple-screen (blood) test that is 90-some percent accurate in diagnosing Down syndrome and other chromosomal abnormalities with no risk to me or baby. Obviously we hope that everything goes smoothly and we have a healthy baby with no issues, but that isn't the way this works. You open yourself up, tell God you're accepting of another child, and He gives you what you need and are supposed to have. No matter what, our family can handle anything. We will cherish whomever this next little one is as a beautiful member of our Christensen Crew.

We hope our friends and family will feel the same. Try not to worry, trust that it will all be okay, and just be happy! We'll see if I can actually make it to my due date this time. I wouldn't put money on it, but we're shooting for May 11!

In an interesting sidebar, we measured the kids at home recently and Kaitlynn (3.5 feet) is exactly one foot taller than Grady (2.5) and that is displayed well in this picture! He is our short, short little man!

An Early Morning Post

2009-10-12T02:37:00.000-05:00

It's 2:37 a.m.

I can't sleep. I hate when this happens.

So, I've put out feelers for insurance quotes. I've checked the account balance, and now I'm catching up on a little reading that I never get time to do. Maybe I don't hate when this happens.

It just so happens that thanks to my favorite author (Jennifer Graf Groneberg who's blog is on my list on this site), I found the blog of another mom. I am posting her post below because it struck a chord. Her blog is Postcards from Holland (title inspired by Emily Perl Kingsley who wrote the short essay "Welcome to Holland" - a must read).

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

The rewrite
"I read lots of scrapbooking magazines and sometimes I come across a layout that has journaling saying, "I love my life - my life is everything I wanted and more," and I wrestle with that concept a lot. Can I ever get to the point where I can say that my life is everything I wanted and more? Sure, if I rewrote what it was that I wanted.

Did I want to be happy? check. Did I want to have a career that I enjoyed? Sure. Did I want to have a fantastic marriage? Double check. Did I want to have two completely blissfully neurotypical children? Yeah, that too. That too. I never once entertained the thought that it would be otherwise. I've read this before, but it's imperative when something we don't like (but can't change) is presented to us, we learn to adapt, to dream new dreams.

Did I actively wish for a depth & meaning to my life that many others will never get to experience? Not at all. But that is the gift that has been bestowed upon us here in our happy little family. And at the end of my life, I will be grateful for this gift. I kind of want to take it back to the returns desk at times, but that's okay. It's all okay."

I don't know that I dislike the diagnosis of Down syndrome, but there are certainly aspects related to it that I could live without.

Our little man is simply amazing, and it's true. I sometimes wish I could bestow upon others the depth and meaning to our lives that Grady brought to us. Kai and I actually talk about that all the time. Others worry for us. Others think too far down the road for us. But we live in the now with our incredible little man, and his awesome sister, and wish that everyone could know and feel and live what we do.

The lottery, casinos...we never win. But in this case, good fortune was definitely on our side.

The Winds of Change

2009-10-11T13:11:00.001-05:00

The winds of change are here.

The weather went from finally summer to bitterly cold and wintry. On Friday, every leaf from our tall tree in our backyard fell off, without even having time to turn really turn colors.

In our personal lives, things are changing too. The kids are growing and changing every day. Kaitlynn's vocabulary is expanding every day, along with her life skills knowledge such as the months, days of the week and her writing ability. Grady is a typical boy - into everything and testing every limit and boundary. They are exhausting and terrific all at the same time!

This weekend, my parents were here. They are on their way to Arizona for the winter. I'm still not used to the idea of them being snowbirds and being so very far away, for so very long. Once again, I'm happy they're able to get away from the depressing weather, but they won't return to live in ND until mid April.

We are fortunate, and the four of us will hop Allegiant in November to go see their home down there and spend a few days with them. And, they will be back for a few days at Christmas. It means so much to know that the kids will get to have Grandma, Grandpa and Santa all at the same time! But even so...knowing that the house in Cando is all locked up, that I can't just run there for an overnighter in 3 hours if I need to get away and hang with them, or if something happens with either of them...it's a hard thing for me.

This has been an unbelievably challenging year economically with our family as we had to get a new van, our daycare bill went up $500 per month, and each month we've had unplanned expenses pop up (like our range microwave dying or a tornadic wind ripping siding off). There was a time when we had savings to handle stuff like that, but this year there just is no way. That, coupled with the fact that we never have much in the way of vacation (when your kids are sick, you don't get to stock-pile time off!), the thought that, "Hey, I can just hop Allegiant a couple times to see them..." is pretty much out of the question. So, after Christmas, it very well could be the end of April until I see them again. When you're used to seeing them much more often than that, it's kind of a tough thought.

It's very selfish to be so bummed about their departure, because I know being down there is so good for both of them (although they do miss friends and family a lot too!). And I will focus on the fun times next month and at Christmas. And there's always phones and computers! We'll have to figure out the whole Skype thing, I think!

As for the weather, there's nothing I can do about that, either. It'll get worse before it gets better, so I guess I'll hunker down in my ND home and dream of spring!

Ramblings from an Exhausted Mom

2009-10-04T21:32:00.000-05:00

Whew. It's Sunday night. For two weeks I've been creating a long list of blog topics.

1. Buddy Walk

2. Kaitlynn's latest vocabulary ("Gradst" is her new nickname for Grady)

3. Money...and the lack thereof...

Okay, so what good is it for me to just list them. I bet I could rattle off 20. But as usual, I'm too exhausted to start on any of them.

Instead, I will just say that the Buddy Walk was awesome. Having Chris, Kelli & Cohen, Mom, Jill & Mandi, Peggy & Kayla, and Cathy & Aubrey there, along with many good friends, was awesome. Finally having a home large enough to comfortably hold and entertain family and friends is also awesome...although I'd love to throw the mortgage out the window along with the extra cleaning that comes with it!! Now with my parents spending a majority of the year down South, I wanted to have a place to host family gatherings. Although to do so, we're asking both sides to travel pretty far!

We took our first family trip to Papa's Pumpkin Patch yesterday, and Kaitlynn started Sunday school today. Kai started his rec league hockey tonight. They lost. The Sioux had their exhibition game at home and after a slow 2 periods, they pulled out a huge win 7-1. We're looking forward to all home games being televised this year!!

With Grady's bowels waking him by 5:3o a.m. for at least the last week, I'm pretty "pooped" myself. So that's about all I have in me to post. I apologize for the boring nature. But the pics aren't!

Loving an Underdog Lover

2009-09-20T21:08:00.000-05:00

I've always been a big fan of the underdog. It doesn't matter what venue of which I speak, sports...movies...life in general. One of my favorite Disney movies of all time is still Aladdin, where a poor beggar boy ends up with the life of his dreams. It's all about heart.

Life has taught me a lot about how there's nothing more important than heart. I adore people with serious passion. Even if it's a passion I can't understand, or even if I disagree with the concept, it's the passion itself that is utterly inspirational. My parents always told me, "Don't do anything half-assed. If you're going to do it that way, don't do it at all."

Did they expect me to be the best at everything? No. But they did expect that when I made a commitment, I followed through and gave it my very best effort each time out of the gate. I grew up that way and I hope to instill that value in my children.

To me, most of the time it is the underdog who has more heart that can be measured in any situation. That must be why I love them!

Therefore, I guess it's only natural that I would fall in love with and choose to spend the rest of my life with an underdog lover.

Yes. I am talking about my husband's love for a difficult team to love. The Kansas City Chiefs. I have made it through 7 seasons with him - and each and every year it is the same thing. The ridicule from people who hear he's a Chiefs fan, the excitement of a new season, and the let-down after each and every game.

The thing about the Chiefs is, they will bring so much hope, and even joy, to my husband. Today was no different. The kids and I were playing outside so Kai could watch his game in peace. Most of the game had been tied or very close with a super low score. He came outside and I asked, "How's it going?"

Kai responded that the Chiefs were up with two minutes left. Neither of us had to say another word because we both were thinking, "plenty of time for them to pee it down their legs." But as any true lover of an underdog does, we gave weak smiles and hoped beyond hopes.

Kai went back to his game and I had to run inside for a towel for Kaitlynn. As I did, I heard from downstairs with the door shut, "You (insert f-bomb here) SUCK!!!"

Ohhhh. The pee had certainly trickled. I didn't need to know the details. It's been the same story for 7 years. I wish they didn't bring such heartache into our home each week...for months on end...but then, I don't know what my husband would do without his hope for his underdogs. He isn't a fair-weather fan, not doing it half-assed. He is committed, and I have to respect that.

It's going to be another long season, filled with ups and downs. And since we love our underdog lover, I guess we'll grab our Chiefs gear and help him send positive vibes towards Kansas City!

It's Never Just a Trip - It's an Adventure

2009-09-06T20:25:00.000-05:00

It's my last trip "home" - until spring or summer...hmm. Kind of sad to think of it like that. But when it dawned on me that we actually had this weekend somewhat free, I realized I could make one last quick trip home with the kids. It would allow Kai to have a night to himself, to cross some projects of our list, and the kids and I a little bit more time to spend with Grandma and Grandpa before they head off to Arizona in three to four weeks. Last time they were gone for about 3 months and it seemed like forever. Now they'll be there from October through April. Yikes...that is a long time when you're used to seeing them each month!

Kai busted his hiney and got tons of stuff done - just check out the deck, before and after! He also got a chance to rest, relax, watch some movies...it was good for him. Kaitlynn got to go to a wedding and wedding dance, ride in the Go-cart with Grandpa, and both kids got to "swim" in the hot tub. It was a really great time for everybody, although quick.

Well, that is until the trip home. The trip there was interesting. It could've gone worse, but it could have gone better. Traveling with a 2-year-old who can't stand to be tied to his chair is never a good time, and then you add a very demanding 4-year-old to the mix and it can get hairy when you're the only adult! But we made it.

We made it there on far less than half a tank of gas. As we were leaving Cando, I took stock of our gas situation and noted that I still had well over a half tank left. I thought about stopping for gas before leaving town, but Grady was fading fast and I didn't want to interrupt that. I figured I had plenty to make it home, and if not there is always Anamoose, Wing or Sterling. As I thought, Grady was asleep about 2 miles out of Cando and the adventure began.

I didn't look at the weather or take stock of it as I left Cando. It was a day of crazy wind. I knew I was using more gas than the trip there, but as I drove through Anamoose, I checked the back and both kids were sleeping. If I stopped then, it would be screaming and whining for another hour-and-a-half. Thinking to myself, "I have plenty to get me to Sterling...or at the very least Wing."

So I'm getting closer and closer to Wing. I'm starting to think I'm an idiot. It's 90 degrees, the wind is ridiculous and I'm running very shy of gas. The kids are awake and want to play in Wing's park, but I say no - gas is number one priority.

I go to the main drag of Wing only to see a "Closed for Labor Day" sign on the gas station door. WHAT??????? Labor Day is tomorrow. Please...for real?? I try to be calm. I look at my gas reading...it says I have 30 miles left of gas and the sign on the way into town said I had 21 miles to interstate/the gas station.

This is not good. Kai keeps calling, but my signal is terrible and I wonder what kind of mother puts herself into this position, I mean really??? I've heard of this happening to other people, but I swore that would NOT happen to me - I'm smarter than that!!

So here I am. I decide to chance it. I turn the air off and try to crack the windows. The kids complain that it hurts their ears, so we sweat like crazy instead. We're getting closer...I can't see how many miles my computer says I can still make because all it says is LOW FUEL, and it's blinking over and over. Oh, and there's the pretty orange gas station light glowing too. We go over one big hill and I swear....this is it! This will be interstate.

Oh, wait - no. This is that farm I've gone by a million times. Dang it. Then Kiki says, "Mom, my hips hurt!!!" For those who don't speak Kaitlynn, this means she needs to go "#2." I look at her face and try to judge how urgent this is. Generally with Kiks, it's urgent.

I ask her if it's possible to hold it for just a few more minutes because I'm trying to get us to a gas station for a potty break and to get some gas. She says she can, but I feel so bad! I tell her I don't want her to be in pain so if we need to pull over, we can. I can actually reach Kai now by cell, so I've got to be close to interstate and he could come meet us if he had to. The thought of being stranded on the side of the road with the kids in 90 degree heat and crazy, slapping wind is not comforting, however. Oh, and did I mention it's so hot in my van my clothes are totally damp at this point?

So she says again that she thinks she can make it, but does her little funky song quietly to herself as she tries to hold it. Another hill, it has to be right after....ooh, crap. Nope. Okay just a bit further...another hill and....YES!! Salvation!!! I can see the Interstate and the cell rings.

"Did you make it????" Kai asks nervously.

"No - but I can see the Interstate and I can roll to the overpass and roll down the hill to Cenex if I need to!"

Whew. We didn't have to. We had just enough. And we parked and ran to the bathroom. Just a trip to a gas station bathroom is an adventure with two little ones. Kiki HAS to go, but we choose the largest stall so we all fit and she needs help climbing up. I can't do that very well with Grady. So I grit my teeth and shudder as I set him down on the floor (I know, eeeewwww) and gave him my purse to empty while I helped his sister.

We made it through the bathroom trip okay, got gas, came back in to pay and celebrate with a snack. Yes, I totally "emotionally ate" an ice cream cookie on the way into Bismarck.

It may have been the best ice cream cookie I ever tasted.

I'll never again take for granted the power of a full tank of gas and maybe it is okay that I'm not making that trip again until May!!

The Alphabet Song

2009-08-30T07:34:00.000-05:00

Grady loves music, and that's putting it mildly. He's been able to keep a beat since he was maybe four or five months old. Just now, like every morning, Grady was dancing at his toy table to the Alphabet song. "A-B-C-D-E-F-G..." Over and over and over. He has a strong dislike for country music. I haven't figured it out, but I think somehow his dad tainted his music style. He loves alternative, rock & roll, and kids songs with loud, fun beats. He drums better than his 4-year-old sister.

Right now it's just the two of us up. It's early Sunday morning and I just love having this special, quiet, one-on-one time with him. One-on-one doesn't happen with either of my kids very often - but it's so nice when it does!

Grady just makes me laugh. I'm so proud of his amazing progress in the last month. He' s walking all over the place, he's getting a couple more teeth and he is doing whatever he can to be independent. He signs eat, drink, yes, no, help, more...it's awesome! One other thing- he's become SUCH a daddy's boy over the last three weeks...and it is such a welcome change from the last two years.

He just threw his car on the laminate and made a very loud clunk after I've asked him to be quiet for the other two who are sleeping. He then peeks through the back of the kitchen table chair to catch my immediate reaction.

I know that I will have my hands full for a long time with this little man. He will always keep me on my toes...but it's no different than life with his big sister!

I think we may have time for another dance or two before the other family members join us. Hmmm...Barney or Nickelback? Either way he'll be ecstatic!

Weekend Pics

2009-08-09T20:52:00.000-05:00

Drinkable Moments

2009-08-06T21:01:00.001-05:00

Oooooh. I just had a drinkable moment.

You know the kind I mean. The kind people would pay for. The kind that make life worth living.

One of our goals for the next year with Grady is establishing a more independent bedtime routine with him. I've been trying (when he's tired enough) to lie down with him rather than rock him to sleep. As we were lying there I gently put my arm over him so I could stroke the back of his head lightly. He opened his eyes just a sliver, gave a weak smile and put his doughy little hand on my cheek. And it stayed there as he fell into a deep sleep.

I'm not going to pretend that anyone is as sensitive or emotional as I am - but it was that small act that let off huge fireworks in my heart. Moments like that choke me up, bring tears to my eyes and make me tell myself over and over, "Drink this in - it will be gone in an instant. DRINK THIS ALL IN." These moments make all the hard stuff so worth it!

It was another trying evening with Grady as I tried to get him to warm up to Lexi so maybe she can "babysit" for us while we do projects at home. We tried to go to Jane's since she was kind enough to let me have first dibs on all the kids' clothes she and her sister-in-law were lying out for their rummage sale tomorrow. Each time Lexi tried, or anyone for that matter, to get close to him - he put up a huge show and cried his eyes out. I made that trip as quick as I could and then we tried Kai's softball game which went about as equally well. So it was definitely trying.But then you get the one drinkable moment and you're good to go for the next while.

It's "I love you, I'm so glad you're my mom and thanks for all you do for me," all rolled into one small gesture. Somehow those chubby little fingers have a direct tie to my heart.

I had a similar situation a couple of weeks ago. My friend Renita, two of her kids and her mom, Diane, were in town so we did a quick zoo tour, pizza at our house and then Kaitlynn and I went with them to see The Wizard of Oz at Sleepy Hollow (an outdoor theater).

You go down a small hill and over a little bridge and you can't really see much at first because of the trees. As Kait and I were walking hand-in-hand over the bridge, the orchaestra was warming up. Kaitlynn's pace picked up a bit. We rounded the tree and she could see the white gazebo containing the musicians and the huge beautiful stage.

The music poured out and Kaitlynn squeezed my hand with both of hers, looked at me and said, "Oh thank you, Momma'. I LOVE it!"I knew the excitement she felt, it was like reliving the magic of the theater for the first time through her. I giggled and said, "I'm so glad, and the show hasn't even started yet!"

Watching her watch the show was almost as magical to me as seeing the show was to her. It truly was a drinkable moment that went by all too fast.There have been many moments like that this summer. The Fourth of July, our trip on Tuesday to "Sesame Street Live," the kids' birthdays and so much more. All the pictures that follow cover much of that.

If you've taken the time to read this post - I encourage you to seek out your next drinkable moment. They happen most often when you aren't expecting them to, and they will pass you right by if you don't take the time to notice them.

Grady's birthday phone call from Grandma Faye.

Kai says this is Grady doing his "Mom Impression," texting/calling while driving.

1:13 a.m.

2009-07-25T22:24:00.000-05:00

In about 2 hours is the 2nd anniversary of Grady's birth.
1:13 a.m. on July 26, 2007.
It's been an interesting ride to say the least.
So much stuff has been crammed into the last two 356-day cycles. Looking back, I'm almost in awe of it all.
But to focus solely on Grady, since it is his special day after all, I am almost speechless. It isn't until recently that I've begun to understand just how unique our path is with him. He is a rather typcial boy - climbing on, banging into and falling off of everything. He likes to flirt with girls. He's proud to have his male genitalia that he's discovered over the past several months during bathtime. There is no doubt that he is all boy.
At the same time, I look at my friends who have children all within plus or minus 3 months of Grady, and we truly are not in a typical situation. Many of them are wearing much bigger clothing (Grady is still at 18 months or smaller on his lower half!), most of them are not just walking...but running, jumping and many other very physical feats. They are talking that super cute baby talk and feeding themselves an entire meal off of a plate and using regular cups along with sippy cups.
Grady has been going through the most bizarre separation anxiety for at least 10 months now. It's enough to almost drive me off the edge. It makes new environments, family get-t0gethers and even public outings of most any sort extremely stressful and honestly at many times beyond irritating. We've tried everything we can think of, as well as all the suggestions we've had from others. Nothing seems to make it better.
He has just 7 teeth. That makes meals interesting and sometimes even tough. It makes it hard when others want to feed him.
He has made some amazing advances - in fact thanks to the little fort Grandma Faye and Grandpa Chuck gave him as an early birthday present, he can now climb up the big slide and the big ladder on the big playset in the yard. We don't really like that all that much because he's not safe, but he's loving it!
I turn my back for a minute and the next thing I know he's used his highchair, a stool or chair to make his way to the top of the dinner table and stands on it. He absolutely has no fear, unless we're talking about people or animals.
Do I wish he were talking on the eve of his second birthday? Yes. Do I wish he wouldn't have some weird chronic cold/lung/breathing issue that we just can't seem to get on top of? Yes. Do I wish he didn't have Down syndrome? No.
Most of the issues we have faced have been a far cry from what so many other parents have had to deal with - life threatening illnesses, multiple surgeries, losing a child.
At the same time, it is apparent that the issues we have faced are a far cry from what many other parents will ever have to. And, many of the issues are the same - because many of the difficult things about raising children are the same across the board. All parents are challenged with all sorts of things each day.
On a day-to-day basis, I like all parents, don't see the challenges. It isn't until a momentus occasion like a birthday that I reflect on all we've been through and take stock of where we are now.
I feel blessed to be where we are now. Our little man is funny. He has the cutest laugh ever. He has a great sense of humor and his curiosity is exciting. He's walking more and more each day. He has an amazing connection to music and his dance moves can't be beat. He is now doing actions to music with friends in daycare and is trying to be more social when he's comfortable. He is sweet, loving and gives the best hugs a mom could ever ask for. If you have a bad day, all you need is a couple of minutes with Grady and your whole demeanor changes.
I think back to 4 a.m. in the NICU two years ago with the most dreadful, agonizing thoughts of losing my baby boy running through my head...it makes me choke back tears. I couldn't imagine losing him after only knowing him for a matter of minutes really at that point. What an amazing tragedy it would of been for us, and this world really, to not have Grady here.

Grady Curtis Charles Christensen. Happy Birthday Little Man. You are a true gift and you are so loved. Thank you for loving us back.

Are We Having Fun Yet??

2009-07-01T21:56:00.000-05:00

It's been another interesting week with the Christensen Family, and it's only Wednesday.

On Sunday Kai took down the crib in Grady's room. The second time around was only slightly easier than going through it with Kaitlynn. But it had to be done. We knew it was only a matter of time. He finally realized he just needed the little bit of a boost his pillow gave him and he was able to get that other leg, or really I should say other set of toes, up to the railing. We decided having him fall out of a bed would be better than out of a crib. However, the Grad-man is not as tall as one may think for an almost two year old. So we decided on no frame, just mattress and boxspring. After carting it all up there and putting it together, Grady climbed on and off. It was a bit of a struggle, but for the most part he could do it. As we were cleaning up, Grady was sitting on his new bed, leaned back slightly and fell off - head first. His head sort of slammed into the ground a bit and he ended up landing on his back. Kai and I looked at each other and decided the boxspring had to go. So, Grady's new big-boy bed consists of just a twin mattress on the floor. To make it even more appealing, the only twin sheet we have that is 100% cotton is one of Kaitlynn's bright pink jersey sheets. So that's right. Our little man is stylin' on the floor in a bright pink sheet. He couldn't care less.

As for sleeping, Kai had a restless fit for a while on Sunday night. But we closed the bathroom door and put the gate across the top of the steps. He did awesome. He slept all night in his bed, to wake up Monday morning and play with his blanket as he sat on his bed. Same thing Tuesday morning. Then, there was last night. I was up with Kaitlynn at 3:30, so as usual when I got her settled down I peeked in on him. There was no Grady in sight.I scanned the darkened room and thought maybe he was snuggly up against the bedrail. Nope. I looked again. Finally I saw his little butt up in the air and his little toes dangling off the edge...of his rocking chair. He had climbed up on it at some point and fallen asleep with his head up against the seat and backrest, and his other end hanging nearly off the chair. Perhaps the climb up had taken it all out of him. Or perhaps he was sleep-crawling. Lord knows his sister is a sleep walker (and she gets it from her mom).

Kiki has also had an eventful week. On Monday she came home with very skinned knees. She plays hard and is a bit of clutz. They looked like they hurt. I thought that evening we should've invested in Neosporin. Then came Tuesday. I got a call at work about 9:15 a.m. I had been at work for under an hour. Kaitlynn had a "bigger" accident and I could hear her sobbing in the background. They said she was doing fine, but that it was pretty bad so they wanted to make me aware. They wanted to know if I wanted to do anything more.

So I told them I'd be right there. I stopped first for some pain-relieving Neosporin. I got there and she was still sobbing. She had a big piece of gauze and thick tape across her entire left ankle. I tried making her bare weight but she really didn't want to. I saw her do it a couple of times so I knew it was probably going to be okay. By the time that evening rolled around you could see bruising, a little puffiness and by morning it looked sprained.

However, daycare was right. It really did look awful. It looks like it feels awful and by all of her reports, it DOES feel awful. She removed quite a bit of skin. Despite our best efforts - leaving it uncovered for air, keeping her inside away from the dirt, cleaning it out at daycare, at home with hydrogen peroxide followed by a long soak in soapy water later that night and continuos doses of Neosporin, she woke up today and her foot was not just a little swollen, but the redness was spreading around the perimeters and it was hot. She's had some other issues, so I made an appointment with her doctor for this afternoon.

The dr. said she was showing signs of infection. Antibiotics - again. She just got off a 10 day dose last week and now she's right back on the stuff for another 10 days. Argh. I feel for her. She really was quite brave and relatively tough. It hurts for her to walk and she's not patient at all with ice packs. We're supposed to do two baths a day along with her medication and keep a close eye on it. We're heading to nurse Faye's in a couple of days so we should be good!

Grady is busy climbing. It's wonderfully exciting and horribly frustrating all at the same time. His newest fascination is his high chair. He has no plans once he gets in, but it's all about the climb. His thought process and logic is sometimes unbelievably comical. This weekend Kaitlynn shared one of her new Barbie cars with him. Grady tried and tried and tried...but he just couldn't fit in the dang thing! It was hilarious. He figured out that he was supposed to PUSH it, not RIDE in it. And he had a good laugh with us.

Kaitlynn, although sassy and loud, is also pretty funny still. Last night Kiki and I were playing silly games as she soaked in the tub. We were talking about her little plastic animals jumping off of the side of the tub and she said to me, "Your turn, momma. It's your turn to nose plug into the water." Yeah...you need to insert the word "dive" in place of "plug" and you have the actual statment she was trying to make. She does that ALL the time and I just wish I had a video camera following her around to catch it all. Usually I forget it hours later, I just remember laughing!

Big Girl Birthday

2009-06-24T21:48:00.000-05:00

It's official. Kiki is 4. This time four years ago Kai and I were snuggling with our brand new baby girl in my family hospital bed...me completely blissful, he completely scared...and both thoroughly exhausted! Kaitlynn had a great day. She had a special birthday breakfast with the whole family and opened a bunch of presents. Ours were less fun, a flotation suit, a new bike helmet and some clothes. Grandma Faye and Grandpa Chuck were more fun with cute clothes, new crocs (which she HAD to wear ALL day), and not ONE but TWO Barbie cars. I think it's to make up for the one I wanted for years, ha-ha-ha! Then Grandma Jill and Grandpa Curt sent her a bouquet of balloons twice her size. At daycare they wore party hats, had cupcakes and she had a great time. This evening, we all went to the amusement park. Grady was scared of simply everything...but Kiki had a TERRIFIC time!