Saturday, November 21, 2009
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Limitations vs. Strengths
I found this quote on a newsletter we receive. It really made me think. I'm a relatively impatient person who wants things done my way. It's no secret to anyone who knows me well. It's something I've tried to work on for years and years. I think I'm getting better with it, but that's my own view.
I realize that my anal retentive tendencies are both a strength and a weakness. In any given moment, in any given situation...it could be one or the other. I sometimes get frustrated with my husband when he doesn't share my same tendencies...but really the frustration is with myself for EXPECTING him to behave the way I think it correct. And I hate to admit it, but when I see my kids leaning toward some of my similar tendencies, I secretely smile inside. That stuff just can't be taught. It's either there, or it's not.
Although I found this quote on a newsletter that we receive because of being blessed with Grady, I think the quote really applies to EVERYONE. With or without Grady in my world, I would still have to spend time learning the strengths and limitations of each of the people I know - and choose to accept and love them no matter what.
So, the next time you're having trouble with your kid, a spouse, a coworker, a friend...anyone, take a breath. Examine the situation. Are you creating the angst and frustration, annoyed that you're not getting your way? Perhaps what you find annoying might actually be that person's diamond in the rough!
"There is another and perhaps greater danger involved in this matter of accepting the limitations of others. Sometimes we are apt to regard as limitations qualities that are acutely the other person's strength. We may resent them because they are not the particular qualities which we may want the other person to have. The danger lies in the possibilities that we will not accept the person as he is, but try to make him over according to our own ideas."
-Eleanor Roosevelt
I realize that my anal retentive tendencies are both a strength and a weakness. In any given moment, in any given situation...it could be one or the other. I sometimes get frustrated with my husband when he doesn't share my same tendencies...but really the frustration is with myself for EXPECTING him to behave the way I think it correct. And I hate to admit it, but when I see my kids leaning toward some of my similar tendencies, I secretely smile inside. That stuff just can't be taught. It's either there, or it's not.
Although I found this quote on a newsletter that we receive because of being blessed with Grady, I think the quote really applies to EVERYONE. With or without Grady in my world, I would still have to spend time learning the strengths and limitations of each of the people I know - and choose to accept and love them no matter what.
So, the next time you're having trouble with your kid, a spouse, a coworker, a friend...anyone, take a breath. Examine the situation. Are you creating the angst and frustration, annoyed that you're not getting your way? Perhaps what you find annoying might actually be that person's diamond in the rough!
"There is another and perhaps greater danger involved in this matter of accepting the limitations of others. Sometimes we are apt to regard as limitations qualities that are acutely the other person's strength. We may resent them because they are not the particular qualities which we may want the other person to have. The danger lies in the possibilities that we will not accept the person as he is, but try to make him over according to our own ideas."
-Eleanor Roosevelt
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Is Rod Stewart a Genius?
The topic of Rod Stewart's music is one of debate between Kai and me. Thanks to my dad, I learned to love Rod Stewart's music early. When I hear one of his songs, particularly his "new" songs from when I was about 12 & 13, I feel I must burst into melody.
This seriously annoys Kai. Not only does he HATE Rod Stewart, but he hates that I know the lyrics. "You WOULD know this song!!"
Tonight I sit alone in my motel room in Minot. Tomorrow morning I get to speak about financial aid/college planning to 400 seniors. Oh, yes - I know just how excited they are to listen to me.
Anyway, the drive was long thanks to road construction. As I was about half way here, one of my favorite RS songs of all time came on the radio. And since I was alone in the car, I got to crank it up and belt it out.
"May the good Lord be with you
Down every road you roam.
And may sunshine and happiness
Surround you when you're far from home.
And may you grow to be proud, dignified and true.
And do onto others as you'd have done to you.
Be courageous and be brave,
and in my heart you will remain forever young."
When I hear this song, I actually see snapshots of my life with my parents...and as I age, I also see snapshots of us with our children mixed in. Perhaps it's pregnancy hormones, perhaps it's because I have heard some sad news lately...or perhaps it's just because I have always been a ridiculously emotional person...but I choked up with welled eyes.
I would imagine that RS is not the genius behind those lyrics, so I suppose I should not give him the credit. But I really, really do love the poetry in the words. And I so enjoy the 3-minute reality check...from a wonderful life as a little girl...to a wonderful life as a mom. It's like a slideshow in my head set to Rod Stewart.
"And when you finally fly away, Ill be hoping that I served you well.
For all the wisdom of a lifetime
No one can ever tell.
But whatever road you choose, I'm right behind you, win or lose.
Forever young..."
This seriously annoys Kai. Not only does he HATE Rod Stewart, but he hates that I know the lyrics. "You WOULD know this song!!"
Tonight I sit alone in my motel room in Minot. Tomorrow morning I get to speak about financial aid/college planning to 400 seniors. Oh, yes - I know just how excited they are to listen to me.
Anyway, the drive was long thanks to road construction. As I was about half way here, one of my favorite RS songs of all time came on the radio. And since I was alone in the car, I got to crank it up and belt it out.
"May the good Lord be with you
Down every road you roam.
And may sunshine and happiness
Surround you when you're far from home.
And may you grow to be proud, dignified and true.
And do onto others as you'd have done to you.
Be courageous and be brave,
and in my heart you will remain forever young."
When I hear this song, I actually see snapshots of my life with my parents...and as I age, I also see snapshots of us with our children mixed in. Perhaps it's pregnancy hormones, perhaps it's because I have heard some sad news lately...or perhaps it's just because I have always been a ridiculously emotional person...but I choked up with welled eyes.
I would imagine that RS is not the genius behind those lyrics, so I suppose I should not give him the credit. But I really, really do love the poetry in the words. And I so enjoy the 3-minute reality check...from a wonderful life as a little girl...to a wonderful life as a mom. It's like a slideshow in my head set to Rod Stewart.
"And when you finally fly away, Ill be hoping that I served you well.
For all the wisdom of a lifetime
No one can ever tell.
But whatever road you choose, I'm right behind you, win or lose.
Forever young..."
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Time to Myself...REALLY?
It's 12:20 a.m. and I just watched the Sioux's last 2 minutes of play. With about a minute and a half they pulled the goalie and Zajac scored. They needed one more goal to tie for overtime. But it didn't happen...they lost. The #2 nationally ranked UND hockey team took a loss tonight. Apparently wearing my Sioux sweatshirt didn't bring out the luck this evening. Not the best way to end such a great day - but even so, it's not enough to dampen this weekend for me!
This has been an incredible weekend. As an early birthday gift, Kai took the kids to Sidney so I could have a weekend to myself. After weeks of some pretty awful morning sickness and tummy trouble, and much lost sleep...it was magic to my ears. I haven't had the house to myself since I was in early pregnancy with Grady. A LONG time, in other words.
It was Wednesday, when I was running over the day's schedule in my head as I packed Kaitlynn's bag for daycare/preschool. Kaitlynn said, "Grady doesn't go to Super Kids early like me today because he has OT." I responded, "Close. He has Speech here at the house after I drop you off and then we go to PT at St. A's, and then I'll take him to Super Kids in time for lunch with his friends. OT is Mondays and Fridays, and sometimes speech is also on Fridays."
Information overload for her. And I don't know why I felt the need to clarify for her. It's not like she knows the difference, or really even cares. But it was that same moment that I took a deep breath and thought, "And there's also work and deadlines and after work schedules to keep up with. Wow...no wonder I am so tired and feel like I really need this break."
I know how stressful it is having Grady in unfamiliar environments around people he doesn't see at least once a week. I know how hard it is to travel with both kids. Kaitlynn who is demanding, and Grady who hates his car seat and lets you know it all the time. That's why I am so very greatful to Kai for even making this happen. I've taken both kids for little trips a few times since Grady was born, but this was a first for him.
After work on Friday, I went to Target - and got to take my time to pick up things for today. I cleaned and did some laundry last night and watched a little hockey before falling asleep. I didn't get up with either kid all night and got up when I felt like it. I grabbed some groceries, made some dip and waited for a few friends to start showing up to scrapbook. The last time I did that was maybe spring...but probably even longer than that.
I scrapped from 10:3o a.m. to 11:30 p.m. and finally finished Grady's 1-year book, a goal I've had for a year now. I also got each of their "professional photos" books updated and a few other things organized. That all feels great. But I also had a day of friends coming and going, whom I never get to see. It was so fun having girlfriend discussions, and just catching up with everyone's lives. Stuff just flies by for all of us and you easily lose touch with what's happening with each other.
Our lives are vastly different, and so completely the same.
After weeks of agonozing over the H1N1 vaccine, the kids and I finally got it this week. I was still feeling nervous about it - and after talking with other pregnant ladies and moms, I realize I'm not the only one. We all feel "damned if we do, damned if we don't." And we have that in common in so many things as wives and mothers.
It's necessary time like this, although it's very rare, that reminds me that I'm more than just a wife, mom, and employee. It is good to be a little selfish once in a while and find yourself again because it's too easy to get lost in all the day to day stuff.
There's nothing I love more in my life than being a mom, but every once in a while it's really nice just to get to be Jamie again.
This has been an incredible weekend. As an early birthday gift, Kai took the kids to Sidney so I could have a weekend to myself. After weeks of some pretty awful morning sickness and tummy trouble, and much lost sleep...it was magic to my ears. I haven't had the house to myself since I was in early pregnancy with Grady. A LONG time, in other words.
It was Wednesday, when I was running over the day's schedule in my head as I packed Kaitlynn's bag for daycare/preschool. Kaitlynn said, "Grady doesn't go to Super Kids early like me today because he has OT." I responded, "Close. He has Speech here at the house after I drop you off and then we go to PT at St. A's, and then I'll take him to Super Kids in time for lunch with his friends. OT is Mondays and Fridays, and sometimes speech is also on Fridays."
Information overload for her. And I don't know why I felt the need to clarify for her. It's not like she knows the difference, or really even cares. But it was that same moment that I took a deep breath and thought, "And there's also work and deadlines and after work schedules to keep up with. Wow...no wonder I am so tired and feel like I really need this break."
I know how stressful it is having Grady in unfamiliar environments around people he doesn't see at least once a week. I know how hard it is to travel with both kids. Kaitlynn who is demanding, and Grady who hates his car seat and lets you know it all the time. That's why I am so very greatful to Kai for even making this happen. I've taken both kids for little trips a few times since Grady was born, but this was a first for him.
After work on Friday, I went to Target - and got to take my time to pick up things for today. I cleaned and did some laundry last night and watched a little hockey before falling asleep. I didn't get up with either kid all night and got up when I felt like it. I grabbed some groceries, made some dip and waited for a few friends to start showing up to scrapbook. The last time I did that was maybe spring...but probably even longer than that.
I scrapped from 10:3o a.m. to 11:30 p.m. and finally finished Grady's 1-year book, a goal I've had for a year now. I also got each of their "professional photos" books updated and a few other things organized. That all feels great. But I also had a day of friends coming and going, whom I never get to see. It was so fun having girlfriend discussions, and just catching up with everyone's lives. Stuff just flies by for all of us and you easily lose touch with what's happening with each other.
Our lives are vastly different, and so completely the same.
After weeks of agonozing over the H1N1 vaccine, the kids and I finally got it this week. I was still feeling nervous about it - and after talking with other pregnant ladies and moms, I realize I'm not the only one. We all feel "damned if we do, damned if we don't." And we have that in common in so many things as wives and mothers.
It's necessary time like this, although it's very rare, that reminds me that I'm more than just a wife, mom, and employee. It is good to be a little selfish once in a while and find yourself again because it's too easy to get lost in all the day to day stuff.
There's nothing I love more in my life than being a mom, but every once in a while it's really nice just to get to be Jamie again.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
We Have Some News
"Kaitlynn, mom & dad have some big news for you," we said. We took her out for a special dinner at Subway last night before both of us went to watch her at gymnastics. It was a special night for her to have us all to ourselves. Her eyes grew big.
"What?" she asked.
"You get to be a big sister again." She looked perplexed as Kai was trying to explain.
"Mommy has a baby in her tummy, so you get to be a big sister again when the baby is done growing and ready to come out."
"She looks down at my belly, "No...no, you don't!"
"Yeah, it's just really tiny. It takes quite a while to grow."
"Ahh, why did you do that again?"
We knew her initial reaction wouldn't be thrilled, she's said a few times we don't need any more babies.
"You're such a really great big sister that we thought it would be okay to have one more baby for you to teach things to."
"Oh. How did it happen? How did the baby get there?"
Okay, so breaking the news to a 4-year-old is a lot different than breaking it to a 2-year-old. At that last question, Kai and I laughed and Kai said that it was up to me to explain. As I began to try in a very high level manner, she started wondering about if it would be a girl and said she really wants it to be a girl. We went that route with the discussion. :)
I remember feeling that way when mom told me that she was having another baby, her fourth. I already had two brothers...so I really had my heart set on a sister. Kaitlynn even said if it's a girl the baby can sleep in her room - we didn't even bring up room arrangements!
We had our first OB appointment. In true Jamie fashion, it took forever. An ultrasound confirmed a squirmy little "squirrel-looking" baby that has tiny little arm and leg buds. His or her heartbeat was 174 (Kiki was up there, Grady's was 150s/160s). And we are 10 weeks. Usually we wait until we're at least 12 weeks so we know that the pregnancy should be okay, but this time around I already have a small bump and it's less easy to hide. We hope that everything goes well from this point on.
And it has already. Compared to my other pregnancies, this one has actually been fairly typical. I had a positive result at an in-home test early on (usually I have to be 7 weeks or farther before that happens) and I haven't had all the early complications that I've had the last times. It's a refreshing change, and at the same time I have a hard time really believing it because it's so different. Different makes me worry that things aren't okay...but really so far different for me just means fairly typical for most people.
We have talked over and over all the concerns that comes with another pregnancy and another child. We know we have increased odds of now having a second child with Down syndrome. In 6 weeks I will do a triple-screen (blood) test that is 90-some percent accurate in diagnosing Down syndrome and other chromosomal abnormalities with no risk to me or baby. Obviously we hope that everything goes smoothly and we have a healthy baby with no issues, but that isn't the way this works. You open yourself up, tell God you're accepting of another child, and He gives you what you need and are supposed to have. No matter what, our family can handle anything. We will cherish whomever this next little one is as a beautiful member of our Christensen Crew.
We hope our friends and family will feel the same. Try not to worry, trust that it will all be okay, and just be happy! We'll see if I can actually make it to my due date this time. I wouldn't put money on it, but we're shooting for May 11!
In an interesting sidebar, we measured the kids at home recently and Kaitlynn (3.5 feet) is exactly one foot taller than Grady (2.5) and that is displayed well in this picture! He is our short, short little man!
Monday, October 12, 2009
An Early Morning Post
It's 2:37 a.m.
I can't sleep. I hate when this happens.
So, I've put out feelers for insurance quotes. I've checked the account balance, and now I'm catching up on a little reading that I never get time to do. Maybe I don't hate when this happens.
It just so happens that thanks to my favorite author (Jennifer Graf Groneberg who's blog is on my list on this site), I found the blog of another mom. I am posting her post below because it struck a chord. Her blog is Postcards from Holland (title inspired by Emily Perl Kingsley who wrote the short essay "Welcome to Holland" - a must read).
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
The rewrite
"I read lots of scrapbooking magazines and sometimes I come across a layout that has journaling saying, "I love my life - my life is everything I wanted and more," and I wrestle with that concept a lot. Can I ever get to the point where I can say that my life is everything I wanted and more? Sure, if I rewrote what it was that I wanted.
Did I want to be happy? check. Did I want to have a career that I enjoyed? Sure. Did I want to have a fantastic marriage? Double check. Did I want to have two completely blissfully neurotypical children? Yeah, that too. That too. I never once entertained the thought that it would be otherwise. I've read this before, but it's imperative when something we don't like (but can't change) is presented to us, we learn to adapt, to dream new dreams.
Did I actively wish for a depth & meaning to my life that many others will never get to experience? Not at all. But that is the gift that has been bestowed upon us here in our happy little family. And at the end of my life, I will be grateful for this gift. I kind of want to take it back to the returns desk at times, but that's okay. It's all okay."
I don't know that I dislike the diagnosis of Down syndrome, but there are certainly aspects related to it that I could live without.
Our little man is simply amazing, and it's true. I sometimes wish I could bestow upon others the depth and meaning to our lives that Grady brought to us. Kai and I actually talk about that all the time. Others worry for us. Others think too far down the road for us. But we live in the now with our incredible little man, and his awesome sister, and wish that everyone could know and feel and live what we do.
The lottery, casinos...we never win. But in this case, good fortune was definitely on our side.
I can't sleep. I hate when this happens.
So, I've put out feelers for insurance quotes. I've checked the account balance, and now I'm catching up on a little reading that I never get time to do. Maybe I don't hate when this happens.
It just so happens that thanks to my favorite author (Jennifer Graf Groneberg who's blog is on my list on this site), I found the blog of another mom. I am posting her post below because it struck a chord. Her blog is Postcards from Holland (title inspired by Emily Perl Kingsley who wrote the short essay "Welcome to Holland" - a must read).
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
The rewrite
"I read lots of scrapbooking magazines and sometimes I come across a layout that has journaling saying, "I love my life - my life is everything I wanted and more," and I wrestle with that concept a lot. Can I ever get to the point where I can say that my life is everything I wanted and more? Sure, if I rewrote what it was that I wanted.
Did I want to be happy? check. Did I want to have a career that I enjoyed? Sure. Did I want to have a fantastic marriage? Double check. Did I want to have two completely blissfully neurotypical children? Yeah, that too. That too. I never once entertained the thought that it would be otherwise. I've read this before, but it's imperative when something we don't like (but can't change) is presented to us, we learn to adapt, to dream new dreams.
Did I actively wish for a depth & meaning to my life that many others will never get to experience? Not at all. But that is the gift that has been bestowed upon us here in our happy little family. And at the end of my life, I will be grateful for this gift. I kind of want to take it back to the returns desk at times, but that's okay. It's all okay."
I don't know that I dislike the diagnosis of Down syndrome, but there are certainly aspects related to it that I could live without.
Our little man is simply amazing, and it's true. I sometimes wish I could bestow upon others the depth and meaning to our lives that Grady brought to us. Kai and I actually talk about that all the time. Others worry for us. Others think too far down the road for us. But we live in the now with our incredible little man, and his awesome sister, and wish that everyone could know and feel and live what we do.
The lottery, casinos...we never win. But in this case, good fortune was definitely on our side.
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